😣 Who is your misery helping?
The Book of TREE 1.13
Working a terrible job.
Maintaining a dysfunctional relationship.
Living with self-destructive behaviours.
Sometimes people in miserable situations like these say, I’m doing this to help my kids/partner/friends/future self.
You love helps.
Your kindness helps.
Your hard work helps.
Your generosity helps.
But how does your misery help?
Could you be more helpful if you were less miserable?
Yes.
Your misery doesn’t help anyone.
Find a different job.
Make the relationship functional. If that’s not possible, leave it.
Get the help you need.
This can feel selfish, especially if the culture that formed you taught that misery is noble, that happiness is deceitful, that having a self is suspicious.
Being a whole entire human is beautiful. A life that includes lots of happiness is wonderful. There’s nothing noble about staying miserable.
You can help people so much more when you are unmiserable. My wish for you today is wholeness and happiness. But if you are miserable, I wish for you to take a small tangible step to reduce the misery in your life. Start where you can. Start today.
Here’s a lush listen to start your weekend.
I know this is easier said than done. Just remember how we do this stuff:
Grow slowly
Jeff
Smiling. All said - kindness, doing for others, etc - I do and yes, it is what keeps me going. My misery is long COVID & it really is miserable! Some misery and how much it impacts function is not of our choosing. That many push on is a choice albeit one that can take lots of energy away from the rest.