👴🏻 TREE 768: Not shrinking

As I become more ancient, the default trend is for my physicality to become smaller. I’m less inclined to jump and clamber and slide. I was on a walk a few days ago and felt the urge to leapfrog over a bollard. I didn’t. Because effort. I’m still annoyed with myself about that.

I’ve had two good things pushing in the other direction though.

1. My neck has been sore for three years. I finally saw a physical therapist – shout out to Anna at Vale Community Hospital – where I’ve learned that the way out of this creaky old man pain is to move through it. I was turning my head less and less because it hurt. Anna got me moving it more and more. The pain isn’t completely gone yet, but there’s less of it. The big change is that I’m not afraid of the pain any more. I know it’s safe and necessary to twist it and stretch and use my neck to its full extent, so that’s what I’m doing. The fear of pain was far more limiting than the pain itself.

2. I’ve jumped off a lot of cliffs into a lot of lakes and rivers, nothing crazy – the highest was 17 metres – always feet first. The thought of throwing my face at water from a great height scares me. I went swimming on Saturday. There was a diving platform at the pool. It wasn’t tall, I’m guessing three metres, so I decided the time had come to face my fear. The best way to get yourself off a cliff is to jump before you can start thinking about it. Also there were nine year-olds behind me waiting to do flips. As my lizard brain screamed DO NOT DO THIS, I hurled myself head-first off the platform. It was absolutely terrifying all the way down. How can falling three metres take so long? Then I hit the water and it was fine.

I don’t have to go with the default. My physicality can become more expansive if that’s what I choose.

Super relevant advice from the wonderful Pants Pants calendar:

If you need anything, I’ll be over here doing my bit to delay the heat death of the universe.

Keep growing slowly
Jeff