🏋️‍♂️ TREE 656: In which the beast is revealed

Bonanza Clementine emerges from her tent into bright sunshine and says, ‘Good morning, Mr Pike. It’s a beautiful day.’

‘Hardly,’ he replies, ‘What you’re looking at are the bloody crumbled remains of the day. I grabbed today by the balls at 4:53 AM. I launched myself into the air and the pre-dawn frigidity shocked me into total alertness. I internalised my daily power goals while I smashed through a hundred burpees. Then I sucked the marrow out of the universe with 12 minutes and 39 seconds of self-actualising meditation. I devoured 200 grams of raw protein. I bench-pressed 160% of my body weight. I exfoliated with an extra gritty organic seaweed scrub until every centimetre of my skin was on fire. I reviewed my investment battle plan and made three tactical purchases that moved me 9 clicks closer to conquering my 20-year objectives. I pounded out 17 emails. I bombed the group chat with my latest insights on Marcus Aurelius. Now all that’s left for you and the other betas are a few shreds of day that you’ll waste fluttering from one useless distraction to another.’

For easing into the week:

Grow slowly
Jeff