In November 2023, Christine and I were watching this lecture to parents of ADHD kids because one of our kids has ADHD, plus it’s interesting. We’re sitting there watching, learning, appreciating the respect he shows to parents and it starts to dawn on me that he’s not just talking about my kid’s brain, he’s talking about my brain.
(!!!)
I’m like, how can this be? I can focus. I show up on time. But these things he’s saying… So I do a couple reputable ADHD evaluations online and the results are: dude, go see your doctor about your almost certain ADHD. I immediately wait for about a month (because ADHD?) and then I go see my doctor.
My doctor, who I hadn’t met before because I only moved here in 2022 and I’m healthy, told me two important things:
The NHS is useless for adult ADHD. The waiting time to get a diagnosis is eight years (!!!)
If I did the self-evaluation he gave me and scored high on it, I could safely assume I had ADHD.
I took the self-evaluation home and put it straight on my desk where I could see it and remember to put it off every day for a couple weeks.
When I finally did it – it took 10 whole minutes – you’ve guessed by now: I totally do have ADHD.
My point is that I’ve written things, especially about willpower, that may not apply to you because your brain is wired differently to mine.
Not everyone can be a vegan.
The thing that levered you out of your depression may not work at all for your friend.
That guy who figured out a thing and turned it into a course about What Everyone Must Do If They Want to Be Successful isn’t correct about what everyone must do.
We like to extrapolate universal principles from single data points. We want a single theory of everything. We wish for one-size-fits-all.
But that’s not the world we live in. We live in the kind of world where there are over 4,000 religions, 160,000 species of moth and articles titled ’14 Types of Lettuce and What to Do With Them’.
Be slow to universalise your experience.
—Jeff
I was in my 20’s when a doctor finally looked at me and asked me if I’d ever been screened for an attention deficit disorder. I have ADD, and my grades in my undergrad program suffered because of it until I found a medication that got my brain on the right track.
After graduating, I stopped treatment for it, I also stopped therapy. Those two things together made postpartum incredibly difficult and it wasn’t until a year and a half ago that I questioned whether my seasonal depression and anxiety was due to my untreated ADD. Whataya know. I was right. Sometimes I’m pretty smart.
My point is, you don’t have to suffer unnecessarily or scrape by in life hanging on by a thread. We’re all unique. We all have what works for us.
I hope you find what works for you.
Grow slowly
Skyler
Wow. I had the same experience. Years ago, we took my 10-year-old son for ADHD testing by a specialist. In the doctors office after the testing, he said my son had ADHD and that it was usually inherited. My husband looked over at me and said “Well, we know it’s not my side of the family!” lol It was true! All of the symptoms the doctor described fit me. It has helped me so much in my adult life to be able to make sense of a somewhat confusing childhood in certain areas that required focus and especially paying attention with activities I was not interested in. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
When 50, my friend discussed having dyslexia. I realized she described my brain. I have been flipping info since I started thinking. It truly explained my way of processing in a 3 second delay to learn. It's fine because I never forget it. I do have a blank stare in the interim, processing. And I do not care😉