Is there anything more frustrating than watching the mouse of willpower trying to push the rhinoceros of life up the hill of personal growth?
Willpower is the weakest tool in your box of change-makers. And when it lets you down, it invites the mudslide of shame into the situation. Shame actively inhibits growth.
Instead of the mouse of willpower, try working with the freight train of choices made in advance, the dental hygienist of good habits, the other rhinoceros of teamwork and the glorious hold music of delay.(What is going on with this metaphor?)
Decide in advance what you will do. Arrange your life so that it’s easy to honour your choice and hard to go against it.
Your life runs on habits. Forming good habits isn’t as hard as you think. They start with choices made in advance.
Personal growth with a partner or friend is easier than on your own.
A super-practical hack that I use all the time: Instead of saying no and trying to willpower yourself away from social media or that biscuit or that porn or whatever it is you’re trying to say no to, tell yourself: I can have it in 10 minutes. Urges, like emotions, are a physical/chemical thing in your body. If you put them off for a few minutes, they are likely to weaken significantly or disappear entirely.
Am I ever not going to share a new Emmeline song with you? Unlikely.
Grow slowly
Jeff