👩‍👦 FMS 1: Who is learning from who?

Cara spends her days with four year-olds

Do you ever meet someone and think to yourself, “This person is just pure sunshine”? Meet Cara, mom of three, teacher of many, and pure sunshine.

My name is Cara Baute and I am a pre-k teacher with a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education. My class consists only of 4 year-olds. I graduated from University of South Florida with my Elementary Education degree in 2015. I walked across the stage 7 months pregnant with my first baby.

I figured I would start teaching if I needed to help out financially at any time. Mostly though, it was more cost effective for me to stay home rather than spend money on childcare while I worked at a notoriously low paying job here in the United States. On top of that, I had crippling postpartum depression and anxiety that made leaving my house a very scary concept, never mind leaving my child. I went on to have two more children. This past year, our youngest turned 2 and I finally decided that it was time to get my feet wet, so this is my first time using my degree.

I work in the preschool program my kids attend, which is convenience in itself. It is a small church program in our small town community. I teach one of three classes for the four year-olds. This year, I am finding and learning that my years spent raising children at home taught me far more than I ever learned at the university.

I’ve realized no one can really teach the most effective way to calm multiple tiny humans all at once and do it long enough to get them engaged in a lesson. So by the time I finally got a class of my own students, I had six years of experience with my own three kids. While it might not be what employers look for on a resume, it is invaluable on-the-job experience.

Most people assume that I have my hands full when I tell them I am a pre-k teacher. While it can be a bit chaotic at times, it is endlessly interesting to see these tiny little humans with very big personalities make their way through a school day together. 

I am not going to beat around the bush; being a kid is FUN and being around them gives you a free pass to have fun too. My husband is all about numbers and statistics for his job. I, on the other hand, will spend my day today making snowflakes and talking about how winter has different traits than all the other seasons. We will pretend to hang our mittens out to dry, play with pretend snow, and craft snowmen by arranging shapes. I can talk about the latest Minecraft update with them, which is something I cannot do with many adults.

We pretend there is a secret inside my lunchbox and giggle together as I slowly reveal the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich I pack everyday. Sometimes, when they are waiting on their parents to pick them up they sneak a little closer to me for snuggles. Life in preschool is just plain fun. There are no pressures of life. To them, we only exist to explore and connect with each other. It's bliss to my heart, and I will fully indulge as long as I am given the chance to.

For the past two years, the majority of these children have been distancing in some form or fashion. That is about half of their lives spent trying to limit contact with others. Parents have never had it easy; there is no handbook of what to do and when to do it. Now, on top of it all, there is the added element of a pandemic, new rules regarding sickness, and potential classroom closures at any given moment.

Preschool presents far more hurdles to families than it did before, but these children need it now more than ever. Balancing the risks of their children being in school with the benefits of socializing them with other children will likely keep parents awake at night wondering if they are making the right decision.

My job is important because I have to make everyday at school worth it to these families. It is important that I use every bit of their precious time to help them develop social skills and cognitive awareness. I often say that if all they do in my classroom is learn how to be good human beings, then I will count the day as successful.

Before I had children of my own, I was terrified of teaching toddlers. The tears, the potty accidents, the unreasonable and chaotic nature they have at times. Let me just say I was aiming for more of third year aged kids. I can say now that I got it wrong. While all of what I listed above is true, I have found that far more often I am genuinely fascinated by how complex they are. I started with a total of nine students in my classroom (two of our families moved away, now we have seven), and they are all just like you and me.

They have preferences, humor, compassion and a million little characteristics. On the other hand, totally unlike us, they are so unashamed to be who they are. It is the most refreshing thing I have ever experienced, and has taught me so much. I honestly would not trade it for the world.

I think most people assume what I do is hard. It certainly seems hard to maintain children of any age that are not your own. They assume that it is exhausting to teach. But I find that it is actually easier for me. My own kids are so vital to me that I feel like I am pouring my life force into them. Everything seems so important and urgent. With my students, I can just enjoy teaching them. I am not worried about who I am to them or what my role is because it is very black-and-white. I can enjoy teaching them and getting to know them but at the end of the day I get to send them back to their parents. It is relieving in a way that parenting is not. 

My teaching style is the same as my parenting style. I treat these children how I would want to be treated. It is the most simplistic, yet effective, method for coexisting.

If they need more time to eat lunch, I try to accommodate them because I would not want to be rushed either. If they need some time to be held, I’ll find it. After all, there are times when we all get a little overwhelmed and need reassurance. If they want the blue marker instead of the green one, I will usually give it to them. If there is a reason they need to do things a specific way, I make sure I explain it so that they fully understand why. I ask them questions to get to know what they are thinking.

I treat them as if they are important and valid, because they are. It would certainly be easier to say, “Because I said so”, but why not take the time to show them how important things are? They owe me nothing and it is my job to earn their respect and willingness to learn. We all could use a little grace and a lot of love in life. These sweet children deserve it just as much as adults do. Especially with all the uncertainty we face everyday.

Cara’s song choice

Skyler: Lol! It doesn’t have to be a kids song. It could be anything you’re into, but I do dig the teacher theme, here.

Cara: I think I'm sold on Laurie Berkner. She slaps, no matter what age you are.

Follow your curiosity

Cara tells me so much of her parenting is in line with what Abigail and Elle teach on the Hand in Hand Parenting podcast.

In The Whole Brain Child by Dr Daniel J Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson we learn how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. Whether you’re a teacher, a parent or neither of those things, it’s good to learn how you got to where you are now.

Cara has implemented Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) in her teaching. She has family members on the autism spectrum and she grew up with this approach. It’s a wonderful alternative to “because I said so”.

Turns out, this week we learn from four year-olds in that it’s important take the time to slow down and find less urgency in the daily things we do. It’s too easy in all our hustling around to lose our wonder and ability to find beauty in small things. I’d say that speaks fully to what we say here…

Grow slowly, FOREST family.
Skyler