🎄 TREE 715: Baby

TREEpeat 70

Jesus changed the world. The way we count years is based on a (wrong) calculation of when he was born. That’s fairly influential. But before he got around to saying and doing the things that would shape the next two thousand years, Jesus was a baby.

Babies are useless. They are hard work. They need constant holding, feeding and changing just to stay alive.

This is how new things come into the world: small, fragile, easily extinguished. A spark, a seedling, a baby.

New things require our participation to reach their potential.

Without Mary’s constant care –
midnight feeds, chafed nipples, 3 AM swaddling cloth changes…
Without Joseph taking his family as refugees to Egypt…
Without their years of parenting…
Little baby Christmas Jesus
would never have become
Jesus Christ superstar.

New things require work.
The work is worth it.

Adobe Firefly, I say, please create ‘a nativity scene under the sea in which Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus are all porpoises’, knowing full-well that the AI is not up to the task.

The porpoise people seem happy enough with their tiny malformed Buddha, but this is not what I asked for. The AI, sensing its failure, hastily throws this up while shouting, JOSEPH AND GARY! FFOREST FOLK LOVE JOSEPH AND GARY!

Adobe Firefly, this is terrible and you know it, I said. The random kid’s face is sideways on their head. Baby Jesus is a burn victim. The prehistoric fish, the underwater breathing – it’s all just – no.

The AI starts making excuses. I don’t really know the Christmas story. I mean does anyone know the true meaning of Christmas? Heartwarming is the main thing, right? So how about a girl and her little brother who must make their way home from the sea beneath the sea in time for Christmas with the help of the bulbous-nosed wise ones of the deep?

How about no?

Mary is betrothed to a sentient sea slug with penguin wings! The AI has gone entirely insane. She gives birth to radioactive pineapples and everyone is happy except for that one fish with the stupid nose! It’s the kind of thing Gen Z will love. You need to start connecting with Gen Z, Jeff.

Er, hello, Gen Z?

I’ll be back in your inbox 8 January 2024.

Happy Solstice! Merry Christmas!
Jeff