I’m giving Brother Lawrence a break today.
If you have been in the FFOREST for a while, you know that I have slowly weaned myself off almost all social media. Those platforms get about 30 minutes of my time on the weekend and that’s it.
This summer Substack introduced their own social media feed called Notes. Notes is different, they said, It’s thoughtful and respectful and will help you find interesting things to read and listen to. They’re not lying. But as I used Notes it produced the same anxiety and anger in me as the other platforms.
I didn’t understand. Why is a feed that is definitely not a dumpster fire still messing with my emotions?
Maybe I needed to do more letting go of the need for likes and applause? Yes. But also that didn’t feel like the reason. I kept thinking, and on Saturday I think I figured it out. The problem for me is that
all social platforms hijack the intention of my attention.
I am an easily-distracted person. In process of getting the above link to Notes I found myself scrolling down the page then clicking on a link to a post about why someone has changed their mind about Barak Obama. That’s not what I wanted to think about. I haven’t read the post (yet). Still, while I’m typing this I’m thinking about some guy’s opinion about an American ex-president. It could be an educated, intelligent opinion. That’s not the point. The point is the thought is taking up space in my head without my permission. My intention is to write this post, then message my mum, then do BSL practice, then read a book about writing stories for a few minutes, then sleep. Instead, I’m thinking about why Obama is or is not a good guy, something that has nothing to do with living my life or accomplishing my goals. And social media does this over and over and over.
This is not healthy for me. I am distracted enough without an app yanking my attention in 27 directions that, while interesting, are not where I’m trying to go.
I want my attention to be intentional. And I want the intention to come from me.
Grow slowly
Jeff
As you wish............................(Princess Bride)..........
Ugh yes. The hijacking of emotions. With my Inktober run this month, I’m trying an experiment where I can drop my drawing each day and basically outrun the attention claws, AS WELL AS the validation teeth (ok now these feel like Jeff creatures). For me, this is capital-R Resistance training (teaching myself to share, but care less). Not what really Notes is for but I really don’t think I can mentally handle what Notes is really for. You’re not alone!