🌩 TREE 459: Gross change

This week we have three very personal reflections from Miles Taylor, who says:

My name is Miles. I’m a non binary, bi-racial, police officer who lives in the Deep South. When I’m not out trying to be the change in the world, I can almost always be found at either a coffee shop, or at home with my dogs watching Netflix. I like to think that everyone is waiting for someone to be brutally honest, but in a very gentle, “wake tf up!!” Kind of way. I’m an open book, begging to be read.

You probably remember Miles (then known as Sam) from FIELD GUIDE 21.

Grow slowly
Jeff

Meet a human, fall in love, look up marriage procedures, get married, find a groove as a team, get so into the groove communication begins to fail, run a 10k bridge run for the first time in your life, decide communication is a non negotiable, separate from human you married so fast, begin divorce quest with zero knowledge, move out, cry for hours, look into the skyline for hope.

Slow down. As humans, and particularly homosexual humans, we have a tendency to lightning speed move through emotions, feelings, instant comforts, ya know, all the mushy crap.

I wish someone had told me to slow down then instead of me telling myself now that I’m IN the process of divorce.

I’m learning MY boundaries, I’m learning MY hard no’s. I'm learning MY wants, desires, and needs from myself. I’m doing this all while divorcing someone I thought was the one I’d share the rest of my days with. I didn’t think about losing myself in another human. I didn’t think about how to co-exist with someone else for an extended amount of time. I didn’t think about my dislikes when it comes to me being a part of something bigger than myself because “love” blinded me.

Take your time. Really. This world is making very rash decisions and clearly it is up to us individually to make sure that our best interests are created within ourselves. Learn what YOU like, learn what makes YOU happy, learn how to properly talk about hard things, learn how to LOVE YOURSELF. Because RuPaul said it best, “you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you supposed to love someone else?”

(Spotify)