The problem of pain
has multiple answers.
Many of the answers
are not reconcilable.
None of the answers
work for everyone.
Q: Why do bad things happen to good people?
A: God will work everything out for good.
A: Humans have free will.
A: This is what Destiny has decreed.
A: You were caught up in a cosmic battle between good and evil.
A: You are working out your karma from a past life.
A: This is the life curriculum your soul chose before you were born.
A: You are too small to understand.
A: Random shit happens.
You can reconcile some answers with parts of others, but there’s no meta-answer that incorporates all of these plus the others I didn’t list.
You start with your family’s answer to the pain problem.
As a teenager you test it. If you’re satisfied that it holds up,
you make it your own. If you feel it breaks down,
you look for an answer that works (for you).
Either way, you probably get obnoxious for a while
because you, young spotty-faced human, have solved
the problem of pain.
Then you experience real trauma and you discover your answer
to the problem of pain works, though it doesn’t end the pain
and there’s more subtlety involved that you imagined.
Or it doesn’t. It crumbles under the weight of tragedy,
and you look for an answer that does work (for you).
Either way, you probably get angry for a while.
The people with quick answers don’t actually know
the problem of pain.
If your current answer to the problem of pain
doesn’t work anymore, the problem isn’t you.
Though some people in charge will say it is,
they are afraid of losing power or control or
their own answer to the problem of pain.
Leave them to their fear. Go find
what you need.
When someone you love is living through trauma and pain,
they don’t need your answer.
They need your presence.
—Jeff
Sometimes being present in someone’s life who is living through pain and trauma is hard and you want to give them your answer to pain. Sometimes you do it anyways, and it might work for them for a minute, but it doesn’t solve the problem in the long run, for them. Stick with being present, even when your answer fails them.
Grow slowly
Skyler
Bonanza Clementine is coming soon to your inbox (if you want it).
What if we were trying to recover from the Moustache Event and the heroes were missing and the leaders weren’t worth following but the pike still needed to be saved from extinction?
Experience the story as Jeff creates it. You can get on the mailing list here:
This spotty faced human says that this is one of the most profound entries you have ever written. I’m going to keep it and read it out loud to my family over the holidays and make it a group discussion. I’m curious to see on your list which one they pick as their go to and why. Thank you, dear Sage.
Job's comforters were anything but comforting. But it was a long 42 chapters until Job prayed for his friends that he was restored. That says it all. Give thanks through the storm. It will pass. Oh yes, don't comfort how they did😉🙏