Doing something because you should is a terrible reason. It’s no fun. It’s demotivating. Doing something because you get to is totally motivating, so I try to reframe hard thing I need to do as something I get to do.
I don’t need to exercise in the morning, I get to exercise in the morning. I have four reasons why exercise is a ‘get to’.
No matter how the rest of my day goes, I’ve done something good for myself.
I always feel better after I exercise.
I’m watching myself get stronger and fitter.
I get to listen to podcasts while exercise.
Number four is important. I’m connecting something I always want to do (listen to podcasts) with something I don’t always want to do (exercise). Even if it’s cold and raining and I’m tired, I’ve got the motivation to get out and do it because my brain will get a treat while my body works.
Another example: perhaps you have a way of doing something that hurts another person. You need to change. The feeling is probably something like , Why should I have to change when they’re the one being stupid and sensitive? It’s a demotivating have-to. The reframe will look something like: I get to change the way I do this thing and that means
There will be less tension between us. I love less tension.
I get to be a kind person. I always feel good when I’m kind.
They will be happier and therefore feel less sensitive and maybe be less stupid.
Try to connect your better behaviour to something that feels nice in the moment so your ‘get to’ has oomph even when your mood is not cooperating.
—Jeff
Tuesdays are my Mondays. Which typically makes them way less exciting. But on Tuesdays I get to see some of my favorite people, so that always cures the “Monday” bit of my Tuesdays.
Grow slowly
Skyler
Luv it🏜️