I know I wrote yesterday that reality is rude. Today Iâm writing that it isnât harsh. I think Iâm right about both. Itâs worth pointing out that in writing about reality Iâm forced to use wordplay and oblique angles and metaphors to try and get to whatâs real. Our limited brains find reality hard to pin down.
Reality isnât harsh because âharshâ is an interpretation of something that just is. Harsh is one of many lenses you can use to try to understand reality. I think itâs one of the less helpful lenses. It primes you to interpret whatâs true and real as powerfully malevolent. What are you supposed to do against powerful malevolence? Itâs grim, one-sided and disempowering.
What if instead you took a neutral view of reality?
Neutrality gives you the ability to do âyes, andâ.
Yes, this [terrible thing] exists, and this [good thing] exists, and this [opportunity] exists.
Neutrality about reality gives you the ability to see much more of what actually is than if you pre-judge it as harsh (or lovely). I believe it grounds you and helps you thrive too. When you continue with âyes, andâ, you will eventually see love and life and air and earth and sunlight.
âJeff
Two things can be true at the same time even if they seem somewhat contradictory. Reality can be rude in the sense that it forces you into facing something before youâre ready, but youâd have to face it eventually. That isnât harsh, itâs likeâŚ.gentle parenting from the universe.
Grow slowly
Skyler
I agree reality is grounding. I am a flawed optimist. I have my bubble burst too often. But when extra is sliced off the top and I'm left with reality, I sink into it and find centeredness. I like itđŞˇđ¤¸ââď¸
I read your stuff every day and I'm grateful for its gentle wisdom so I feel like an ingrate making my first comment--gently, I hope-- critical. In a "reality" that confronts humans with cancer, mass starvation, dementia and certain death, concluding, from a human point of view, that it is "harsh" is not entirely unjustified. That doesn't mean you shouldn't live your life with love, joy and connection--in fact, it's the only way that makes sense to me to deal with this elemental harshness. Someone once called me an intellectual pessimist and a temperamental optimist. Such a thing is possible! Thanks for all your good work in this harsh world