🐎 TREE 281: Integrate the horse

One.

I’m no longer part of the religion I grew up and worked in.
It is part of me.

Florence and her machine sang:

I can never leave the past behind…
I'm always dragging that horse around…
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

I don’t think dragging the past around or
burying it and leaving it behind
are the only available options.

You can integrate the horse.

Your regrets,
the things that were done to you,
the things you no longer believe
can become part of your personal wholeness.

How do you integrate the horse?

I know it takes time and work.

I know part of the work is to ask:
What did I learn?
Am I grateful that I learned it?
(You may not be grateful for how you learned it.
You can be grateful that you learned it.)
Now you’ve added growth and gratitude
to what previously was only regret.

Sometimes the growth is no more than
‘I’m not making that mistake again!’
Sometimes, as is the case with my former religion,
the growth is looking back with gratitude
at a set of values, a moral compass,
incredible opportunities to travel,
perform, play music, become a leader.

The regret, the pain,
the joy, the opportunities –
You can’t untangle them.
You can integrate them.

Two.

When taking a long journey, it’s handy to have a trailer full of provisions.

Three.

Florence’s Shake It Out is the obvious and excellent choice. Right now though I’m super into Joy Crookes’ album. I love this song about the complexities of where she comes from.

The words are coming slowly so far this week, so the plan could change, but I think I will be writing about integration in one form or another all week.

Grow slowly
Jeff