🌴 TREE 116: Anxiety doesn’t get to drive

I had depression and anxiety for several years starting around the beginning of the 2010s. I had anxiety attacks that could last a week or more. A week of constant adrenaline, elevated heart rate and feeling like something indefinable is about to go wrong is not a fun time.

I’m not a person who is any good at stopping or shutting down. So I kept living like (nearly) normal through the attacks. If I had talked to the anxiety, it would have gone something like this:

Anxiety: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Me: Hey, Anxiety. It looks like you’re here again.
Anxiety: QUICK! HIDE!
Me: And it looks like you’re hanging around for a while—
Anxiety: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Me: and it doesn’t seem like there’s much I can do about it.
Anxiety: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Me: But I have stuff to do.
Anxiety: DON’T DO THINGS!!!!!
Me: So here’s the deal. Come along if you must, but I’m the driver and you’re sitting in the back seat.

It’s not the happiest way to get through the day. But it is a lot better than hiding under the duvet. Usually, once anxiety realised it wasn’t going to be in charge, it calmed down a little.

I didn’t actually have conversations with anxiety. Then I heard Elizabeth Gilbert talk about talking to her fear. She gave me the language and mental picture for what I wrote today.

I’m writing about anxiety and fear this week.

Important notice: Everyone’s mental (un)health experience is unique. Just because a thing worked for me, doesn’t mean I’m prescribing it for you. Nothing I write should be taken as medical advice.

Nevertheless, I hope some of what I share will be useful.

Grow slowly.
Jeff

This will totally get you moving on a Monday morning. Also, see what I’m doing here?

The Memory of TREE playlist – every song from every email: