Here’s my latest life update in the demanding world of banquets and baking.

If you remember, 4 months ago, I told you I walked into a kitchen to be the baker for a steadily growing country club in my area. I also told you that I fell in love immediately.

With the people.

With the work.

With the purpose it had given me after nearly 8 years of being a stay at home mom.

I’m happy to report I am still loving it, despite it becoming more demanding as time goes on, and our club grows in size.

By demanding I mean, I get home with 17,000 or so steps under my belt with a few hours of the day left to go. I also mean banquets of 450-550 people on a weekly basis.

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Can we take a second and admire that? I couldn’t come up with that many people to invite to an event, with the exception of all of our FFOREST friends.

The menus have gotten more complex, my creative freedom has been set loose and every week I personally, pick, plan, and create our weekly chef made desserts. This is outside of the cherry cobbler and chocolate chip cookie dough bread pudding that have taken our requests by storm. But when something’s good, word travels fast, right?

We planted our own garden and have tomatoes, mammoth jalapeños, and a plethora of other herbs and veggies. There is no better excuse to escape the chaos of a banquet kitchen than, “I have to go to the garden for fresh basil. Be back soon!”

That being said, my kitchen life is still something I look forward to every morning, but theres still that nagging in the back of my mind.

It’s begging me to try getting involved in marketing and event coordinating again. After all, I have that expensive piece of paper in the form of a Masters Degree on my shelf that I have been trying to use for 6ish years or so.

But…brace yourselves!

WHATAYA KNOW, here comes a slow moving train with that opportunity on board. With our growing club and exponentially larger banquets and events, there seems to be the need for more manpower in that department. The overworked faces of the skeleton crew of two event and marketing coordinators we have on staff currently speaks volumes to me.

So I took a loose but steady hold of the reins today and stepped into our owners office to set up a time to talk.

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Fortunately for me, but also unfortunately for me, that time was right then.

My experience, thanks to one of our previous FIELD GUIDE contributors, Ryan Giannoni, my degree, and now my experience in knowing what is possible, impossible, and what seems impossible but is challengingly doable, in the kitchen made for a gorgeous presentation.

Is the time right?

Im not sure, yet, but I am patient. I’ve waited this long, y’know? It’s on the table, and I am manifesting that this opportunity is a jackpot pull of the lever.

I hope you go into this weekend with a newfound inspiration to stick with what you’ve got because what you want is RIGHT THERE, and it’ll be yours soon enough. I just know it.

I wanted to give you a life update; I did “leave” somewhat abruptly.

Here’s what I’ve been up to.

The past two years (yes, two years), I have been searching for a job suitable for the degree I hold. Which is a Masters in Public Relations. I’ve applied to countless positions.

The way the world works now, it seems, is that communication is lacking. So, I’ve applied for these jobs and have maybe gotten any form of communication back from about 1 of every 25. It is discouraging, and annoying, and frustrating. Even then, it is typically just a “thanks for applying…” message. Still, at least I know they got my CV and the application was submitted successfully.

I had all but given up when my sister-in-law came over one day in a panic about creating a business plan. THIS IS MY MOMENT. I can do this. I’ve created marketing plans, what’s a business plan compared to that? In the HUGE picture, they’re pretty similar. Don’t look too close though, because there are some pretty major differences, as well.

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I hit a home run. She left feeling confident and secure in her path forward. I felt accomplished and it really reaffirmed that this is the type of thing I want to do in the working field.

But finding a position in which marketing strategies are created and implemented are few and far between the plethora of positions of telemarketing and selling things that I probably wouldn’t have the heart to sell.

The sister-in-law mentioned earlier is an Executive Chef, and has been for many many moons, for many many different fine dining establishments in and around our area of Savannah, Georgia. After setting her plan in motion, she accepted a position of Exec Chef at a local country club, and recruited me for baking.

One of my many hobbies, is cooking, baking and overall winging it in the kitchen. I’ve always had pretty good luck when it comes to creating in the kitchen, so I accepted. If anything, I thought it could be something to put money in the bank while I continue my job search.

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Silly me. I fell in love, immediately. I have been opened up to a whole new side of the food and beverage industry compared to being behind the bar or waiting tables.

Under a new executive chef things are slow going while supplier things are sorted out, roles are assigned, and menus are created and tweaked. But we’re on our way to creating a nearly completely self-sufficient kitchen.

I’ve baked things I have never baked, I have created things that have blown people’s minds, and I have thrown my fair share of experiments away. I have baked desserts, and breads for parties of 200+ people, and for more intimate parties of less than 20. For baby showers, weddings, christenings, and even breakfast with Santa 🎅🏼.

I’m still learning and balancing.

So for now, the world of FIELD GUIDE is on a vacation. There are plans for continuing, though. It may not be consistent or on a predictable schedule, but I promise I will deliver occasionally.

I appreciate this FFOREST community, and being here with you. Until next time, my friends!

This week, I bring you Andrew (Drew) Sims. He’s probably a genius, but I refuse to let him know that’s what I think.

Hes got this way of deciding he’s interested in something and then mastering it. While it may take effort, he makes it seem effortless. Which may or may not ignite jealousy within me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Drew went to the Georgia Institute of Technology where he studied Electrical Engineering and also the University of West Georgia where he studied physics.

He’s been an electronic warfare engineer with the DOD for seven years, but he has a plethora of hobbies, such as photography, painting, gaming, camping, and coding, which he shares with us today.

This week I hope Drew can inspire you to master something that’s caught your attention. Let’s aim our efforts with intention.

Happy weekend
Skyler

Name

Andrew Sims

Location

Warner Robins, Georgia

Soundtrack

We all find ourselves in an increasingly digital world. This has some drawbacks, but it offers many more advantages for those who harness the capabilities of our ever-evolving technologies. Being digitally literate is a requirement for most people these days.

There is an app for almost everything and there is a website for everything else. Knowing how to operate software that has been developed for a broad customer base with a common set of problems that need to be solved will get you by most of the time. Let us talk about the rest of the time.

We all have unique problems that we need to solve. Sometimes we can find an app that does exactly what we want.

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Do you need directions to somewhere you have never been? Google maps.

Do you need to purchase something, and have it shipped to you quickly without shopping around? Amazon.

Do you need to calculate how many feet of Christmas tree lights you need to buy to line every wall in your living room? You are on your own, but being on your own is not so bad if you have some tools at your disposal and the knowledge to put them to use. The following image shows an application that you can write to solve this problem!

It is only four lines long, and it can be written in a few minutes. There is a wealth of problems of this caliber that can be solved in minutes. This is not a tutorial on how to write code, so we will not go over the specifics.

There are many high-quality guides on the internet that can teach you how to write code. Automate the boring stuff is a popular resource. This is an example of using computer programming to solve problems.

This is a simple problem to solve with a calculator, but as problems become more difficult to solve, the calculator’s usefulness declines and sometimes we have complicated problems! The point is that we solved our unique problem with a computer application that we wrote!

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Okay, so you want to do more than math. When I am not hanging Christmas lights I like to paint. When painting with a reference available, it is often useful to segment the reference picture into smaller portions so that when copying, the errors made are smaller.

The following image shows the result of a 28-line application that places a grid over an image so that it can be easily transferred to a canvas that has a corresponding grid painted upon it. The code for this application can be found here.

I use this application regularly when I paint with a digital reference and it has increased my satisfaction with my final products significantly.

These examples are simple and effective, but how can you afford to spend your days hanging Christmas lights and painting?

There is plenty of money to be made if you know how to program, and I am not talking about the salary as a computer programmer (although it is not bad). The complexity of projects you can do with computer programming has no limit.

This is an application that I wrote to analyze the emotional sentiment of every comment on reddit with respect to securities traded on the New York Stock Exchange.

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The idea was to gauge the public’s sentiment for each security mentioned and make trades based upon that. I made several thousand dollars by using the information gleaned from this application in the first week of putting it to use.

Computer programming does not have to be complex, and it does not have to be your profession for you to profit from it (monetarily or otherwise). Anyone can get into it. I encourage you to learn how to program your computer to give you answers to the questions that you have. Program your computer to get it to solve the problems that you have.

Jonathon Boatright, if you remember, joined us for our last FIELD GUIDE. This edition, we’re expanding on his professional refereeing and what goes into it.

Jonathon is a special education teacher by day and a professional wrestling referee by night. He is working hard and making a name for himself in the wrestling community. He’s got his sights set on the biggest of big leagues in wrestling and he’s making it happen.

I hope this weekend, Jonathon can continue to inspire you to do something despite the challenge that it may present you. Anything is still possible.

Happy weekend
Skyler

Name

Jonathon Boatright

Location

Georgia

Soundtrack

Welcome Back!

I was asked to elaborate more on the aspects of my job as a  professional wrestling referee.

You may have a question on your mind: “Jon, isn’t professional wrestling fake?” These really are fighting words to any fan, but especially to the wrestlers involved in the spectacle of professional wrestling.

What people fail to realize is that professional wrestling truly takes as much training as any other sport in the world. I would even say that professional wrestlers are more in shape than other professional athletes. The wrestlers and referees put in hours of training to perfect their craft.

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For instance, I have seen firsthand the type of training that AR Fox (my trainer) puts himself through to keep himself in physical shape, and ring shape. Ring shape refers to being able to take “bumps” or where a wrestler falls to their back, and gets back up for another move. What does this mean? Imagine yourself throwing your body to the ground, and getting right back up. Do you think that you can do that? Probably not. You take one bump, and say, “Yep! That’s it for me!” This is just one basic aspect that a professional wrestler trains to do. Needless to say, professional wrestlers are up there with NFL athletes when it comes to being in shape.

Where does my role as a referee come into play in wrestling? My number one priority is to ensure that everyone involved in a wrestling match is safe. Safe means that they finish the match the same way they started the match. In my two years of doing this, I have witnessed a wrestler hit their face on the rope, and break their nose. I have also seen a person's ear almost taken off by coming into contact with force on an opponent’s gear.

Both were genuine mistakes, no malice involved. However, there have been times where some wrestlers will purposefully hurt their opponents (this DOES NOT HAPPEN A LOT, but it does happen). It’s what's known as “taking liberties”. This is very looked down upon. The ref is also there to serve as the authority in the ring.

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Even though there are two strong-willed individuals gunning to take down their opponent, they cannot just do it any way they want to. There are rules that the ref enforces, such as the five count and rope break. The five count comes into play where a wrestler will have their opponent in the corner to where they can’t move. They have until the count of five to let go. The rope break typically comes into play during a pin or a submission. The opponent in the pin or submission grabs the rope. The wrestler giving the move has until the count of five to break the hold. Ultimately, the ref’s job is important not only in the show aspect, but in the reality as well.

Now, I was asked to talk about my ref name. Before I go into talking about my ref name, I first must say that I have a wicked sense of humor. I was bullied until high school for the way that I walk. I have a limp due to having cerebral palsy. So, in order to get ahead of the bullying, I would just make fun of myself.

Fast forward to creating my ref name. I wanted a name that encompassed me as a whole, a guy who doesn’t mind having fun. I came up with the name iHOP, one because I like IHOP, and two, pointing out that I can make fun of myself with my disability.

I have come to realize though that even though I am comfortable making fun of myself, that doesn’t mean that others are comfortable with it. It is because of this growth that when I officially go back into the ring Friday (been off rehabbing an MCL tear), I will simply be using my name.

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Going into this, I did not want to offend anyone. I just wanted to show that I am not defined by my disability, I am much more. However, it has come to my attention that maybe, it did not come across well. It has shown me that you can grow no matter what the situation is that you are faced with. So, on this Sunday, I will not be stepping in the ring as Ref iHOP, I will be Jonathon Boatright. My role is to inspire, not degrade.

Long ago, in the days of high school, I failed Biology whilst in my rebellious teenage stage. When I repeated the class, I found myself with a pretty diverse, and all around cool group at our shared table.

Jonathon was one of those cool people. He was (and is) remarkably intelligent and such a positive force in the world. He brought many smiles to Biology class and is now doing the same in education. Not only is he spreading his light in the classroom, but he’s spreading joy and enthusiasm in the world of wrestling.

Jonathon moonlights as a referee for professional wrestling and is making a name for himself in the community. He’s got his sights set on the biggest of big leagues in wrestling and he’s making it happen.

I hope this weekend, Jonathon can inspire you to do something despite the challenge that it may present you. Anything is possible.

Happy Weekend.

Name

Jonathon Boatright

Location

Georgia

Soundtrack

I found the sport of professional wrestling when I was four years old. I remember walking into my friend’s apartment, and seeing the spectacle live on their television screen. I remember seeing the debut of Kane, and thinking, “This is AMAZING!” I sat and watched more wrestling in awe, being captivated by the larger than life characters being played out on the screen. The kid me would be proud of the person that they became, because they are chasing the dream that only seemed like an impossible task to achieve, just not as a professional wrestler, but as a referee.

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In order to tell you the story, I have to go back to the Fall of 2021. My friend, Marty Miller was starting up a promotion in Georgia that is called Hope Championship Wrestling. If my memory serves me correctly, this was our third ever show for the company. That day was busy, from setting up chairs to ensuring the audio equipment was working for the music.

There’s a lot that goes on when running a wrestling show. About thirty minutes before bell time, I could tell that Marty was stressing. I asked him if there was anything that I could do to help, and he told me that a referee had not shown up yet, and he was not answering his phone. That was then when he gave me a look (a look I know now that indicates he has an idea). “Hey, you have been watching wrestling almost your whole life, do you want to ref?” Without hesitation, I said, “YOU BET!”

It wasn’t until five minutes later when the nerves hit. I am very blessed that my very first match was with two men that are well-known on the Georgia independent wrestling scene: Skrilla the Great (who stars in The Peanut Butter Falcon) versus Fry Daddy (been on AEW and a close friend in the business). I went back to a couple of months ago to watch the match, and MAN! It is true when they say if you want to get better, you have to put in the work. That’s exactly what I did!

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For the first two years, I strictly did shows with Marty. I was able to get some training with world-renowned referee Nick Patrick. While I only got to train with Nick Patrick for a month, I learned so much that I still use to this day. One day, Marty told me to branch out to get more bookings for shows. And, that’s what I did. However, I knew that I needed more training. While I was at a show in Panama City Florida, I met up and coming wrestlers Jay Tyler, Travis 3K, Eddie Hindrixx, and Grayson Pierce. After reffing their match, they said, “Hey! You need to come to The 4!” That next week I went!

Now, you may be asking yourself, “What’s the 4?” The 4 is a professional wrestling school known as the WWA4 (World Wrestling Alliance 4) located in Atlanta, Georgia. The trainer is truly one of the best in professional wrestling: AEW Superstar AR Fox. He is responsible for many wrestlers and referees that have graced many a television screen or cell phone. The two main ones that come to my mind is currently one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Austin Theory, and the first black female referee in WWE, Aja Smith. So, needless to say, I am in the right place learning what I need to know.

Now, why am I pursuing my dream as a referee? I have had cerebral palsy all of my life. It is something that has tried to define the things that I would do in my life. When I was little and into middle school, I was made fun of for my limp. So, as a person that has been told that he was not going to do many things in life, I was bound to show people that I will achieve anything that I set my mind to. When I got the chance to become a referee, I knew that I had to chase my dream!

However, I am not only chasing my dream for myself. I am chasing the dream to show others that have disabilities that it is possible to follow your dreams. So many people have been told that they cannot do something because of their disability. It is important to know that you can adapt in order to chase your dreams. Make your own path! You can do it!

By the end of 2024, I will be on tv/cell phone screens reffing in a big independent wrestling company. I will also work with wrestlers who I have watched growing up (some I have already gotten to work with, which is crazy).

My goal for my professional wrestling career is to end up in WWE reffing at the biggest show in professional wrestling: Wrestlemania. My ultimate goal is to inspire others to chase their dreams. Anything and everything is possible.

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One summer I traveled abroad and missed an important family member’s wedding in the midst of my studying. This marriage brought me two new cousins, and an uncle.

Casey being the eldest of those two new cousins has become one of the most inspiring and comforting presences in our family, and I am forever greatful for his dad joining my crazy family and bringing him along with him.

Casey graduated from George Mason University in Virginia just about a year ago, and he has set off to make quite the difference in the LGBTQ+ community. Doing work that others may be too apprehensive to step into.

This week, I hope Casey can inspire you to lean into family that isn’t born to you, but the family that you’ve chosen. Sometimes they are the encouragement, the motivation, and the reason behind the work we do.

Happy Weekend.

Name

Casey Klemmer

Location

Samos, Greece

Soundtrack

My first Christmas away from home was spent on a small island in Greece, dancing to African music, drinking generic Greek cola and surrounded by LGBTQ migrants from all across the world. This group had confirmed the powerful reason for upending my life and traveling halfway across the world to do humanitarian work, and while I was dreading my upcoming move to Serbia, in that moment I felt encouraged and uplifted by this community I had come to love.

So how did I end up in Greece? From the moment I finished university one year ago, I knew I wanted to travel to the people I had studied for so long from afar. I found Samos Volunteers entirely by accident...a stray post on Instagram that led me to discover their small outreach program for LGBTQ refugees on Samos. My first day of work was an unlucky Friday, October 13, 2023, but I could not have been more lucky to stumble upon this organization.

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During my first weekend on Samos I went on the most challenging hike of my life at the time, one that brought us up a mountain and down to a small rocky cove, and then up another mountain and down to a wide sandy beach. Woefully underprepared, I hadn’t brought enough water or snacks for the journey. I felt the support of my fellow volunteers - who barely knew me yet - as they shared their water, oranges, and Lidl pretzels with me.

As we climbed down the mountain toward the first cove, I saw a large black shape washed up on the beach. It was the first refugee boat I saw on Samos, and certainly not the last. Strewn about the beach were discarded items from the people who had used the inflatable dinghy to cross the Aegean Sea to the island, including abandoned shoes, childrens’ lifejackets, and waterlogged coats.

According to the Aegean Boat Report (an independent NGO monitoring the situation), 1192 people arrived on Samos in the month of October and most of them travel to Greece in these precarious and unsafe boats, hoping to make it safely to shore. While many of them arrive safely, a large number do not.

Having seen intimately the way people arrive on the island, I felt prepared (if also a little apprehensive) to begin working with the LGBTQ support group. The first few weeks there were no participants as the group continues through word of mouth and all of the former members had been moved to the mainland. So we waited. In university I studied the experiences of LGBTQ migrants, and had spent many years working with the queer community at home.

As a queer and trans man myself, I felt connected to the potential participants in a personal way. I will always remember the first meeting where two participants joined us. It was awkward. They had no idea what to expect from us or the group, and given the lives they were coming from their apprehension was understandable. But slowly, more people joined and I became a trusted figure. Each week we would catch up, laugh, dance, make art, and be in community together.

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My leaving Greece was forced by circumstance. The 90 days allotted to me on a tourist visa were coming to a close, and with no long-term solution in sight, I had to find another NGO to volunteer with outside of the Schengen area while waiting for my time to reset. On my last day with the group, each member wrote me a card. I cherish these cards still. One person arrived the day I was leaving. In her card she left me some advice I continue to live by. She said, “Today I come to know you and it is time to say goodbye. Don’t let yourself be controlled by three things: people, money, or past experiences.”

I left in early January for Serbia. I didn’t enjoy my time there. The situation in Serbia is even more bleak and desperate than in Greece, and humanitarian work is difficult. There is no space for sustained relationships with the people on the move because they are just that: on the move. I spent two months volunteering in Serbia, and one month in Montenegro before deciding to return to Samos.

My homecoming! Returning to Samos truly felt like returning to a home. My friends were here to welcome me, the beaches and the sea here to comfort me, and familiar places and faces were all around. I returned to the LGBTQ group in April to find that it had continued to grow after I had left, with three members remaining from before and an average of 8-10 people attending every week.

This time I decided to add more structure to the group. Now we have an opening activity with one silly question and one deep question, and every other week we have an educational activity. We’ve had doctors come and present on health for the LGBTQ community, lawyers come to discuss the rights of LGBTQ refugees, and information sessions on LGBTQ identity.

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And what was the powerful reason for moving to a timezone seven hours ahead of everyone I knew? It was the opportunity to confirm that the queer community can and does transcend racial, cultural, religious, and international boundaries. That I can be surrounded by love and hope from people who have the least incentive to be hopeful, and that my work encourages them to continue another day.

Today is May 17, 2024, International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. All of these are phobias that members of the group are too familiar with. Many members have endured extreme trauma and abuse due to their identity, resulting in their migrations across vast distances to find community and safety in Greece.

If you are interested in supporting the work of Samos Volunteers and refugees on the island, check out their website here.

If you wish to continue following your curiosities, here is another link that Casey has supplied us with:

Aegean Boat Report

Over the two years FIELD GUIDE has gone through some changes. As you can see it used to be lovingly named “Feynmansplaining”, but it didnt stick for long. During this TREEset that Jeff and I are working on, I want to take the time to revisit what worked and what didn’t with the people and their experiences that I have brought you.

We will TREEvamp it all! So this week we’re going to go all the way back to the third FIELD GUIDE I ever brought you. Keri really brought us together the first time, and if you’re new here, welcome, I hope you enjoy!

May Keri’s dedication and persistence motivate you to do the hard thing, or the thing that isn’t even hard but you’ve been putting off.

Happy Weekend.

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My name is Keri and I have an Associates of Science in Funeral Services. I graduated with my degree in 2017. But my path in school has not always been easy. 

At the age of 15, I got pregnant with a little boy and I was married by the age of 16. We were out living on our own. Despite these major life changes, I graduated high school in 2003.  I also became a licensed cosmetologist in 2003.

I did cosmetology until I started college for Funeral Services in 2007.  Two years into my schooling, in August 2009, we moved from Connecticut to Florida. I took a year off so that I could officially become a Florida resident to receive in-state tuition. That following year, I became pregnant with our second son. Which led to me taking more time off.

I got accepted into a Funeral Services Program in 2014. But, the day before my first day of classes in my new program, my mother passed away from lung cancer. The death of my mother played a massive part in how I approached and completed my assignments.

I had to write a paper about an article I read in a funeral services magazine. I chose to write about one that covered cremation and families. I chose that article because my mother was cremated. I was not happy with the way the funeral director worked with my grandmother and I. I felt like we were in a rush in having to pick out an urn, and like we could not get anything customized. I was also interested in cremation jewelry, yet the funeral director did not show me any of the jewelry.

I can go on and on about how awfully wrong it went. In the end, it made me vow to never be like that director. Ultimately, that paper received such high marks and great feedback that I sent a copy to the funeral home that served us. My personal experience created my drive to try and better the industry.

In 2017, I finally graduated!

Then I failed the arts exam four times. I eventually just never re-took it. This is a crucial exam for directors. I never wanted to be a director, I only wanted to be an embalmer. But it also took me three times to pass the science exam and two times to pass the laws and regulations exam.

I suffer from a few mental health disorders as well as ADHD. Thankfully, accommodations were made to help me in school. I really had to take advantage of the help that they were providing to get where I am now. 

While I was in school and after I graduated, I was working in a funeral home as a Funeral Home Office Assistant. I had my apprentice license as well as my intern license so I was doing a little bit of hands-on work in the back with the other directors and embalmers. I was also getting the opportunity to go on removals and transports.

At the end of 2019, early 2020 – the craziest time to be alive, during the beginning of this Covid-19 pandemic, I became pregnant with our third child. This time, a little girl. I had a high risk pregnancy and could not lift anything over 10 pounds. I had to terminate my position for the time being.  My daughter is currently a year and a half and I am so ready to get back into the field, I miss it so much!

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I find the funeral service industry so incredibly interesting. In 2014 alone, I was a part of four different things involving both life and death:

1. I saw life brought into this world.

2. I saw my mother take her last breath.

3. I worked in a cadaver workshop.

4. I saw my first embalming process.

When you watch somebody take their last breath it is like watching somebody's soul lift up out of their body and out into the universe. It is almost as if you can actually see it. Then the body, the vessel that carried their soul, is left. Free of pain and emotion. Cold where there was once warmth.

The embalming process makes those that have passed on look like they are simply asleep, if done correctly. It is just incredible to see, learn, and understand the way the chemicals work with the body and give those that have passed on a lifelike appearance.

Those that are on the outside looking in, or those that have not had death close to them might not see the roles we play in helping families find their closure. We know what we do is so important in helping families find acceptance in the finality of death. No matter their religion, beliefs, traditions, or rituals, we work together to help families get to that place. 

Being a part of this industry teaches you to have empathy for those that you are working with. You have to be able to understand someone's pain or put yourself in their shoes but not carry that pain with you. I often find that I connect with people that have lost their mothers as it is easy for me to understand what they are going through. Being able to connect with the sons and daughters creates a relationship of reassurance in knowing that it might not get easier, but we get through it.

Something that is often overlooked within this industry is, you not only have to be comfortable with death, but you have to be comfortable dealing with death for somebody else. Empathy is a big factor in this industry. 

Not everybody has an autopsy performed on them when they pass away. I feel like everyone needs to know that. It is always assumed that those that have passed on get examined and brought to us afterwards like it is nothing, leaving us to fix them up and make them look good. Which, honestly, is halfway true, but if someone does not die a suspicious death, they will not have an autopsy performed on them.

Something that also may not be considered is the fact there are many subjects that make up Mortuary Science. There is art, but it is more than make up. We have to be able to reconstruct heads and faces after a truamatic event.

There is also so much chemistry involved. If you add too much color you can turn someone gray. This discoloration of the body, which is formaldehyde gray, is caused by the reaction between formaldehyde from the embalming process, and hemoglobin. This forms methylhemoglobin.

You can also turn someone green. This color is attributed to biliverdin formed by autoxidation of bilirubin. A good way to remember this is; Bilirubin is gold. In Spanish, “rubio” is blond and “verde” (as in biliverdin) means green. There is so much that goes into it. Far more than you would ever imagine.

It really is a privilege to work with the deceased. You learn to love and embrace life a lot more every single day. My favorite quote that I always say is, "Aging is a process that not many people get to experience. Death comes for all ages”.

At the end of the day, it is vital that we respect one another, love one another, and accept and understand each other. Embrace life everyday like it is your last because you never know when your time is up.

Keri’s song choice

Keri shared this song so we can vibe on into the weekend.

Follow your curiosity

Keri created quick study guides on everything she’s studied. They’ve helped her and so many other students as well.

Carla Valentine is an author that writes about life in the mortuary. Past Mortems is her most recent book.

Ask A Mortician hosted by Caitlin Doughty has spun off a podcast series that aims to dispel myths about death and dead bodies and educate listeners in history and dark tales. Check out Death In The Afternoon.

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One summer in the early 2000’s I was swimming at our neighborhood pool. We were new to the area and I had no friends yet. I randomly swam up to a girl who was in the deep end diving for those sinking sticks.

She didnt talk much, and was painfully shy at first, but we were best friends before long. We dont talk as much as we used to but I’m still in her corner cheering her on.

Jayme is joining us this week sharing her hobby turned successful small business. Jayclays Handmades is three years old now!

Sometimes all it takes is doing something for yourself to realize that your passion needs to be shared with others. So, this weekend, I hope you’ll treat yourself to something you’ve always loved and share it if it is something that should be shared.

Name

Jayme Koch

Location

Savannah GA

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

What do you want to be when you grow up? The age-old question. A question I never felt I had a good answer too. “I want to own my own business,” was my typical response but never felt good enough. What kind of business…? I had no idea I just knew I wanted to create something to call my own and wanted to be my own boss one day.

My senior year of high school, I was placed into an advanced marketing class, without having any previous marketing or business classes under my belt, I often questioned why I was there. I quickly realized I loved it! For our final class project, we were split into groups and instructed to build a business from scratch, create a product, market it and sell said product to the school. I was hooked!

A business plan was in place and I very much took the reins as project leader for my team. We passed with flying colors and I went on to major in business in college.

Starting my own business didn’t go exactly how I had pictured. After years of holding positions as business managers, It actually just kind of happened out of nowhere when I realized a hobby I started as a creative outlet could be shared with others. I had just relocated to a new city with my boyfriend and was out of work for some time.

Staying home all day was really starting to take a toll on my mental health so I turned to my sister for advice. She’s artistic & creative and inspired me to start searching for a hands-on creative outlet to keep myself busy. That’s when I stumbled upon the art of polymer clay, specifically earrings! I instantly fell in love with the process of how polymer clay earrings are made and realized I could create my own earrings to add to my jewelry collection!

I started out making earrings for myself. Earrings that were bold, colorful & fun that I could match to my outfits.  I finally found something to keep me busy, excited me and eventually inspired me to get back into that “I want to own my own business” headspace.

Before I knew it, Jayclays Handmades was born and I’m so proud to call it my own because it feels like the physical expression of who I am inside.

Growing up I remember always sitting around the kitchen table working on craft projects with my grandma & mom. My house was filled with handmade decor, especially during the holidays! Puffy paint, iron-ons, glitter, ribbon, macramé, sewing, stenciling... You name it, we tried it! It’s only fitting that I’ve found my way back to that little girl I once was.

Starting a business from scratch can be scary and filled with ANXIETY, oh man, the anxiety! I’ve often times doubted myself, been afraid to put myself out there into the world and have even thought about giving up. We put countless hours into our craft just to have an internal fear of judgement from others.

Color mixing, clay conditioning, earring design planning, baking the pieces, sanding, drilling, earring assembly, market display set ups, hauling all of our supplies to multiple markets just to hope that customers love our products as much as we do. Sometimes markets are a flop but the good days completely outweigh the bad!

The best market days are the ones where I have customers truly excited to see my earrings. Watching people react to what I’ve created is so fulfilling and reminds me that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve met so many amazing people along the way including ridiculously talented makers who love this small business life just as much as I do.

It’s true they say “good things happen when you least expect it,” because never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be here today, 3 years as a business owner of Jayclays Handmades. I did it! I’m here, I’m glad you’re here too.

My hope is that maybe someone reading this will be inspired to take that leap towards that one thing they’ve always wanted to try.

P.s. Next time you’re out for a drive and you see a vendor market, take a detour and go support those local artists! The amount of talent you’ll find is amazing.

Many moons ago my best friend was a fitness junkie. She still is, but on a much lesser scale. She ran with a group of people that would get together on the weekends and bust out dozens of miles. DOZENS. Couldn’t be me.

I met Ray through her, through this group. Not only is he an incredible athlete, but he strives to make a difference not only in his own running accomplishments but, in the fitness world too through coaching, mentoring, and creating a space for those that are interested to do it on their own time with his app Run Like Gel! He is there to help you every step of the way.

This week, I hope Ray can inspire you to see the big difference small things can make. It doesnt matter how fast you get there, a mile is still a mile.

Name

Ray Bing

Location

Savannah GA

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

Born in Savannah, GA. I grew up as an active kid that loved to play video games with a slight artistic side (Sketching). Growing up as the only son with one sister, I felt like a protector lots of times. Things may have been different if I had a little brother or was the little brother. I’m here, so no complaining there, and with both parents in the household.

I tried many sports growing up as an active kid, but only tried out for basketball when I was in high school. Confidence didn’t hit me then so that was a bust. A good friend of mine saw me conditioning for the team. When he found out that I didn’t make the team, he invited me to track. That’s where my running journey really started.

I graduated in 2005. Fast forward from high school, I was still interested in running, but got more into fitness, so I started touching the weights during the beginning of 2006 as I was attending Savannah Technical College. I was just another kid trying to put on some muscle because I was small and didn’t want to feel inferior since I was a little older and entering into my early 20’s.

As college progressed, I realized that I wasn’t interested in computer stuff and sitting around (no bashing on those guys). I told my girlfriend at the time that I wanted to give modeling a try since I was putting on muscle and wanted to put it to work. She wasn’t pleased with the idea at first, but I still pursued it. Shortly after, we parted ways. We split in 2011 for good.

My modeling was a great short-lived moment. I signed with an agency in 2011 in Charleston, South Carolina (RL Model Management). I ended up being with them for one year and then I went to Atlanta to sign with Chosen (now Select Models) Model Management during the summer of 2012. That was a very great time. When I was on board with Chosen, they told me that I had to lose some muscle. The only way that I knew how to lose weight was running, so I did that.

As I pursued this journey, the initial thought that this was easy hit my mind because of track. Little that I knew, there was a lot more to it. I started researching natural runners. My two big groups were the Tarahumara Mexican runners and the Kenyans. I studied both groups very hard because one, I wanted to actively learn and two, I wanted to get good at it just in case modeling decided to blow up in my face.

I taught myself how to run from just studying their running and form. In 3 months, I was running comfortably. In 2013, I wrecked my car coming home from Atlanta and went into a trauma spiral for about 2 months. I didn’t tell anyone. I used running and the gym to get myself through it and with a little bit of time, I healed from it. From 2012 to now, running entered my life as a healer and a source of fitness.

It became a passion of mine because I learned to do it so well and just kept getting better at it. Who loves doing something that they can’t get good at? I’m sure you won’t find that much.

So from this time of discovering running, time would then pass of me just running by myself and trying to stay in shape for modeling. Not even knowing what running pace or time meant. In 2019, I would get cut from my modeling agency which in turn left me to focus more on running. I found, in a very short amount of time, that I could do it more competitively once I was able to understand what running times actually meant. I entered the local road racing scene late 2017, and continued to better my athleticism.

I made a name for myself; if I was winning races, I was in the top. Still am. The running community allowed for me to create a different presence that I didn’t have when I was modeling. Modeling was awesome, but at the end of the day, you either have it or you don’t. That’s how it works. Quick no’s and yes’s. When you can inspire someone to get out and go for a run or just try, you’ve done something special. Many don’t like to run, but doing it with others changes the perspective.

Towards late 2019, I would then want to give coaching a try. It was just a thought. My independent tax preparer started showing me her son and said that he needed help. “Ray parents want their kids to be superstars!” That was enough for me. As 2020 would be starting, she approached me about coaching him. I told her that I would have to get certified first and that I would give it my best.

The next year I was fully prepared and so it began. Seeing others reach their goals and really knowing you played a big part in it goes way past fulfillment. It really stays with you. That’s enough for you not to stop. You become a coach that cares and a mentor that you didn’t know someone needed. You unconsciously create more leaders.

When one knows that you have confidence and faith in them, you essentially become a third parent. They don’t feel like they can lose. These are things that can’t be bought. The primary goal for what I do is to get others to understand that discipline and developing yourself as a runner or athlete will unlock life in a way that takes away many of the struggles that we go through daily.

If you can run a mile and get through it, you won’t argue over that spilled milk. If you can run a mile, you won’t get mad at your significant for small things. If you can run a mile, your personal life and career starts to thrive. Every mile counts and it inspires you to want to do more. When you want to do more, you will want more out of life. The goal is to keep my fitness top priority so that I can show you how it’s done for many years. All it takes is a mile or two, and suddenly the world comes to you.

Today’s story is coming from someone I not only call a friend, but who is also a role model for me when it comes to motherhood. She is kind, compassionate, organized, patient, and I am thankful for her presence in our lives.

Rebekah is making a huge difference in the lives of young adults with disabilities. She’s spearheading a program that is proving it is impacting those she works with while fulfilling a purpose that Rebekah has known she has had passion for, for a long time.

Sometimes, when big changes happen it can be scary or hard to accept. So this week, I ask you to consider that maybe these changes are making way for your joy, passion, and purpose to be created and fulfilled more than you imagined.

Name

Rebekah Holton

Location

Richmond Hill GA

Occupation

Special education teacher

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

 Being a teacher is both exhausting AND rewarding! When you tack on all of the extra paperwork requirements that come along with the role of a special education teacher, it’s crucial to remember why we love what we do…and pay has nothing to do with it.

For individuals that are not in their true calling, the challenges can be overwhelming. 

     I have been in the field of special education for more than half of my life at this point. While there are still challenging, overwhelming days with a plethora of paperwork needs, I have found a role that feels like it was made for me that I truly enjoy. After spending 18 years in elementary special education in every role there is, I was approached by my current district to consider making a big move.

They felt I was the perfect candidate to handle an independent high school program that’s housed on a middle school campus. I now work in a transition program within the district for individuals with disabilities between the ages of 18-21. 

     This is now my third year in this role and I am beyond proud of the growth observed in the program, for the students. Surprisingly, even more so for myself. I spent my second year completing courses to add an endorsement of Transition Specialist to my Education Specialist degree and certification. The program focuses on community-based instruction, as well as developing pre-employment, daily living, communication, and self-advocacy skills. 

     On a consistent basis throughout the school year, we make monthly class trips to the public library and Walmart. We also volunteer with United Way to assist with preparing food bags for the Backpack Buddies Program. Each student is given an opportunity to be off campus half day four days per week focusing on job skills at our district’s career academy. We adjust with janitorial skills, office based skills such as paper shredding, and doing laundry for the culinary program. Based on need, special trips are also planned for things like obtaining State ID cards. 

     Within our classroom, in addition to lessons focusing on developing our primary skills, we do laundry for the sports programs, prepare and cook meals, and introduce them to household chores such as washing dishes, sweeping, etc. Last year, a parent of a student new to the program asked what I “did with her child because the person they now have at home isn’t the same”. She said that they were wrapping up dinner and they looked up to find their daughter unloading the dishwasher for the first time and taking out the trash with no prompting. She was doing legit chores for the first time in her life at age 19. 

     While I have embraced this transition with open arms in full force, it was difficult to make some adjustments with my mind-set and unexpected scenarios with these young adults. Some of the bigger challenges have been navigating responses for being hit by an adult for the first time and how to be real with them at a level of their understanding. Also helping individuals to decrease their level of dependency and identifying things they can learn to do for themselves with appropriate expectations and guidance is never ending.   

      A majority of my students have made successful transitions to employment or furthering their education, such as through the GSU Eagle Academy, but I quickly learned that there’s more to it than what is within the classroom. In addition to furthering my education to be the best I can, it became evident that parents were lacking important information as well.

     Based on their input, I’ve put together info sessions and resources on topics such as guardianship, understanding and applying for services through Georgia Vocational Rehabilitation Agency (GVRA), and helped them identify ways to assist in furthering the development of their young adult.

Surprisingly, while I take it as a compliment, I have been shocked at the number of parents that have commented on the IEP meetings that I’ve held. They noted that the meetings have been the best they’ve attended with the report being the most thorough reflection and student participation, which is saying a lot when you consider they’ve attended annual IEP meetings for more than 10 years. 

     Working in this transition program requires a lot of patience, organization, and commitment. There’s many moving pieces and numerous points of contact to collaborate with, as well as ongoing fundraisers to cover outings and special events. If this isn’t your calling and your heart isn’t in it, it will most likely fall apart. I’m blessed to be given this opportunity and can’t wait to see what further developments are in store. 

     Seeing the progress of the students and the response of their guardians has truly made this a satisfying change in my teaching focus. The rewards are definitely outweighing the frustrations!

For 60 issues of FIELD GUIDE I have been bringing you people that want to share their stories with you. Stories of strength, resilience, triumph, failure…stories where you’ve learned something or found solidarity with a complete stranger.

This week, Im telling my story.

Name

Skyler Cail

Location

Savannah GA

Occupation

Stay at home mom and your FIELD GUIDE guide

Soundtrack

In honor of going to see Disturbed in concert this week, here’s this masterpiece.

(Spotify)

When I was 9, my parents, my best friend, and her parents went for a 7 day vacation to Disney World. Life was normal, life was good.

While we were there, my dad tricked me into going on a rollercoaster that went upside down. It was my first rollercoaster that went upside down, but he knew I wouldn’t go on it, if I knew it did loops and rolls.

All went well, I rode it multiple times, it was amazing. But, I couldn’t squeeze the handles on the shoulder harness, like a normal person would when they were tense or scared. In fact, it was painful. I didn’t think much of it, I kept going.

I was a tough “if I’m not bleeding or debilitated, I’m okay” kind of kid. My dad was in the military and often times brushed off things anyhow, so it had to be serious if I mentioned it.

Later, maybe by a couple of weeks, my mom and I were rough housing and she had my hands in her hands and she squeezed a bit. I winced. She immediately stopped and asked me what was wrong.

My fingers and toes were swollen and painful, I suffered from crazy intense heel/foot pain after soccer games. We soon found out I had pediatric psoriatic arthritis.

It is a bit more “common” now, but for a while I was a medical anomaly. Students upon students were shadowing their doctors to learn more about this side of psoriasis, and how it affects children.

I’ve been on countless medications and have dealt with every stage of discomfort, in both the joint and skin department. I continued to play sports, be a kid, and I continued to medicate to make sure I could keep doing those things.

But the thing about kids is they’re tough, resilient, and push through things that are hard without thinking twice. Now, Im an adult, and for the first time in nearly 2.5 decades Im feeling the effects of something that I thought maybe I could “outgrow”.

Spoiler alert; I haven’t outgrown it. In fact, it might be worse now, but I’m still medicating just to ensure I never find out just how painful it can be.

With these treatments and medications comes the fun things like a lowered immune system or weaker response to sickness. On top of the autoimmune issues I already have (like asthma), it is always an exciting time to be sick if you’re me (not really).

Now at the ripe age of 32 years old, I’m a wife and mom, who still has a passion for fitness, but maybe thats more along the lines of swooning over fit people and debating on if thats even possible for this body and what my “fit” would look like.

I didn’t used to debate about it because when we first met, I was a runner, but I had an abrupt face first meeting with asphalt right before I wrote TREE for the first time. Accidents happen. Sometimes with accidents comes anxiety and maybe a touch of PTSD so I have new fears to work through.

The fun part about that is, I am working through them. Is it a quick or painless process? Absolutely not. I have been sore every day for the last two months because I’m working for it. If I wake up and feel the soreness of my muscles, I know I’m working toward the results Ive debated about for nearly 3 years.

Do I wish it was quick? Yes, but also no. The small victories are the motivation I need. Small victories like, how many holes my watch has to be on in order to fit me snugly.

The point is here, I sat for years in my fear, letting myself succumb to the effects of my ailments. But nowwww, I dont want to do that anymore. So, I woke up one morning, and just started. And I’ve kept going. Do I falter? Yep! And so will you if you start.

So I hope that you don’t pull another “I’ll start on Monday”, and I hope that you’ll just start. Small steps lead to small victories!

A grab bag of goodness from the BBC for you this week. —Jeff

Creativity

Oliver Postgate was the co-creator with Peter Firmin of beloved British children’s television programmes Ivor the Engine, Clangers, Bagpuss and more. They made their programmes in a barn and a shed behind Postgate’s house, and everything was DIY from the equipment to the characters to their own kids sometimes being characters. Their politics were radical. Their shows were subversive in the best way possible. They were totally punk rock in a gentle English countryside way.

Christine and I loved this documentary about Postgate. (If you can’t access BBC programmes, you can watch it on Youtube, not in high resolution but still worth your time.)

Health

(This one should be filed under TREE but here it is.)

Speaking of subversive. Dr Michael Mosley is giving solid science-backed advice out in the open that, if enough people followed it, would upend the food, fitness and health sectors of our economy.

I binged his Just One Long Thing specials from December. (Scroll down a bit or search in your podcast app.) I made a major change to the way I eat as a result. The early results are good. I may write about it later this year.

Culture

Jon Ronson’s second series of Things Fell Apart about aspects of the culture wars, mostly in the USA that came to the surface during lockdown is a superb, engaging and very Jon Ronsony piece of journalism. He’s not about picking fights. He’s all about understanding people.

I’m thoroughly excited to be seeing Poppy with my oldest daughter on Sunday. I’m if not crushed by the mosh pit, I’ll catch up with you Monday.

Happy weekend
Jeff

Once upon a time, I was an only grandchild. And then this guy came along and foiled all my plans to be spoiled for the rest of my life. Cousin status aside, Patrick is one of my best friends, and in true cousinly fashion, will happily beat me up (even though he says I’m the mean and scary one). Patrick spends his time chasing the ocean waves with his dog, making split decisions that always end up working in his favor, and working his tail off.

Patrick, like a lot of us, struggles with being unsure, depression, anxiety, and all the mean things his brain can tell him sometimes. What we’ve come to know is that it is important to always find yourself again.

Name

Patrick Grimes

Location

Virginia

Occupation

Dog sitter, server/bartender

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

Testing testing, is this thing on? How do I write about myself without sounding like a total idiot and when you feel like your life is not that impressive?

This past week has been the worst week of the year (Thanks, I’ll be here all year).

But seriously, how does starting off the new year perfectly, surrounded by your best friend, her husband, your amazing cousin & her family… turn to such… chaos… thank you medication!

Fun fact; this is what happens when your body has been running non stop for months and finally hits a wall & the ick that you’ve repressed comes back up. Now, why am I sharing this with you you may ask? Because that’s me. Over sharer 101. Sometimes life gets messy. Sometimes your brain is public enemy #1 and you start to question everything. But, the light is coming. And this will be my year, dammit.

When your therapist says, “Have you started any new medications lately?” And suddenly the light bulb goes off making you realize why you’ve been crying for the last 24 hours spontaneously at the drop of a hat. You realize, “Oh, these meds aren’t working for me.” So, after 15 days, my normal dread and normal anxiety have come back — this is manageable-ish to a point.

When you’re setting yourself up for a successful year, it can very much change in a heart beat. Therapy, gym, eating better — it can all go to hell and a hand basket. But there are some key pieces I’ve taken away from this healing journey I’ve been on for the last couple of years. Let’s get into it.

Change is inevitable, so it keeps happening but it’s throwing curveballs constantly.

The biggest change, for me, that’s happened in the last few years has been leaving a job that I was at for almost 7 years and getting started in a whole new field — restaurants.

That may have been the biggest, scariest change in the moment but looking back, it’s something that needed to be done to enter into this new era of my life.

So hi, I’m Patrick, I am 27, I now wait tables and bartend in Old Town Alexandria. I have a successful dog walking and pet sitting business that I manage myself. I have a dog and his name is Wilbur and he just turned 8 in December — He might be the love of my life.

The last few years have been freaking wild. Life just seems to do whatever the hell it wants to and I’m just along for the ride.

Life is messy. So, buckle up buttercup.

When shit hits the fan, who do you call?

I call my mom. Or text. Whichever is easier in the moment.  Having people (not just my mom) who are your rocks, helps immensely when the world keeps changing. To find people in your life you can call when your world is crumbling, that is what makes the world go round. I’ve learned a lot lately about friendships and relationships and have been humbled largely but also been treated with the utmost love and respect by people I’ve known less than a year. Times change, people come and go and the real ones stick by your side.

I’ve been dog walking since I was 15, that makes 12 years and counting. Yes, pet sitting neighbor’s birds and cats in the condo I grew up in even before then because that’s who I was — who I still am today.

I’ve thought about moving out of my parent’s basement (shoutout to Susan & John!) but where’s the fun in that when I can move into client’s houses for a week or two weeks at a time and play house in someone else’s house?! It’s kinda fun. It can also be lonely in some aspects but playing house is more fun than not. To move, relocate, and leave the years of ground work I’ve put into this business would certainly be hard to replicate anywhere else.

I’m quite happy with my two jobs even if it means I’m not as flush in cash as I’d like to be (thank you credit card debt).

I’ve recently done some “cleaning house” in my personal life, if you will, and most of it was just thrusted upon me with little to no choice in the matter when it comes to friendships. Losing people that you thought would be in your life for forever, is a big eye opener best explained as, “Holy shit, now what?”

Well I’ll tell you now what, you have the slate wiped clean and are able to find and hand pick the people who truly bring you joy and make you want to be the best version of yourself. Thanking someone feels weird since they caused the big shit show of 2023 but a big shoutout to them for catapulting this new chapter of my life forward. I’ve since learned a lot in that moment and am able to now see that life does go on.

I’m still a work in progress. Isn’t everyone? Life can be chaotic but more than not, I try to be in the moment and not let the fears and anxiety of the future keep me from living my true authentic self.

In 2016, I found myself in a group on Facebook with HUNDREDS of pregnant women from all over the world due to have their children in April of 2017. Ashley was in this group with me.

I have to admit, we’ve not spoken much but now, theres a newer, much smaller group where we’ve managed to connect more often than the last. All 37 of us with our April 2017 kids. We’ve got a special kind of connection. Which is mostly to collectively commiserate about parenthood and spousehood woes, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

This week Ashley is telling us about the riskiest thing she’s ever done. Sometimes the benefits that come with risking it all can lead to something we never ever expected.

Name

Ashley Lauren

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

For the longest time I lied about how I met my husband. Back when this story began, online dating wasn’t a popular thing — there was no Hinge, no Tinder. I wouldn’t say it was taboo, but almost; definitely on the fringe of how two could people meet. I still remember how my mother looked at me suspiciously when I admitted to joining match.com and eHarmony, why couldn’t I just be like everyone else and meet a nice boy at a bar?

I couldn’t.

I was always better online.

So this is the true story of how it actually happened, and once you read it you’ll be among the very few who know it wasn’t a chance encounter at Starbucks, but a series of calculated moves and deliberate (albeit questionable) decisions on my part that walked me headfirst right into what turned out to be forever.

It was 2006, I’d just moved back home to my parent’s house from the sublet in Evanston, Illinois, I’d spent my summer enjoying. Back home life had to begin, and for real this time. I took a job with a makeup artist, I became the director of her midwest division, and also familiarizing myself with Craigslist. I worked gigs in my off time, spending every dollar I made at the mall.

One day, outside of H&M, there was a man offering my best friend and I the chance to go on an all-expenses paid cruise. Of course, we’d have to win it, he said (I think he might have even winked) pushing the hot pink pad in front of us, handing us pens to fill out all our most basic information: Name, age, and phone number.

Of course we had to try. The two of us would have the best time.

I’d all but forgotten about it when the call came three weeks later.

I’d won… the catch — because there is always a catch — was that it was a timeshare cruise, and in order to collect I needed the one thing I didn’t have: a husband. Even a serious boyfriend, the woman on the other end of the phone told me, would work, but I couldn’t go alone and best friends didn’t count either.

So I did what any girl would do, I set out to find a stand-in husband. I figured there had to be someone who would play pretend for the sake of a cruise, that part would be easy, but where to cast this role was trickier. All I knew about gig-work was finding it on Craigslist and so I turned there and posted an ad: Husband Wanted for Cruise.

I was being facetious, of course I had no plans of marrying a man from Craigslist — but I would fake it for a week if that’s what it took. I got a few replies, but one stood out, his name was Mark, he was 26 and lived close enough by that he’d love to buy me a coffee so we could talk more. He’d attached a picture — my most basic requirement — of him at a roulette table in Las Vegas, wearing a cowboy hat.

We exchanged numbers, he called, and then we spent the entire week getting to know each other. I loved his voice, the way he said my name, and so it was an easy yes when he mentioned coffee again for that upcoming Saturday.

We met at Starbucks, which would go on to become what we told everyone when they asked how we met. It wasn’t a full lie, but it also curled around the truth, protecting it and us from any judgement.  

We also never went on the cruise, all these years later I can’t remember why, but it just never happened. What did happen was this: We fell crazy in love, and three months later he asked me to marry him, that was the easiest yes of my life.  

A few months ago, Marcus Royce and I recorded a thoroughly pleasant and enlightening conversation about hope and the music industry and hope and (not) believing in God and hope. In this second half Marcus does a beautiful job of making the idea of hope practical.

If you haven’t listened to the first half and gotten to know Marcus yet, do that first. While you are there, subscribe to his hope-filled Substack.

Also – big news – Marcus’ Christmas EP is out today! It’s officially time to get festive.

Happy weekend
Jeff

Crazy Hope

Making Hope Practical - Pt. 2 of my Conversation with Jeff Gill

Super happy to be bringing you the 2nd part of my fascinating conversation with Jeff Gill. I feel like it’s me talking the whole time, but maybe there’s something in it you’ll find helpful. Are you deconstructing your faith and wondering how you can still hold on to the good bits? Are you a creative person looking for success in an industry, and wonderin…

Listen now

3 years ago · Marcus Royce and Jeff Gill

Remember that time Jordan walked into a bar? Not only is that when Jordan walked into my life, but that’s also the whole reason I was even able to find Katie.

Katie doesn’t just work with the Jacks, she’s also the author of an amazing Substack, and you can subscribe here. Following Katie’s artistic journey has been more than fun and became even more fun when I discovered she was only separated from me by 1 degree instead of the standard 6 degrees people are (so they say) separated by.

Thus, a circle of support and excitement for each other’s accomplishments and a budding friendship was born!

Katie joins us this week, and I couldn’t be more excited to share a small bit of her with you.

This week I hope Katie will inspire you to dip your toes back in the water of your art, music, hobby, passion…whatever held your interest. I hope you find that it brings you the same (if not more) amount of joy as it used to. Take the time.

Name

Katie R.

Occupation

Graphic Designer

Habitat

Wisconsin

Soundtrack

It’s an early October morning and we’re supposed to road trip up to North Dakota. I tap open the weather app again and wince. Predictions are more threatening than the day before: 7-11 inches of snow, lows in the single digits. I imagine us in our van. It’s 1:00 am, and we’re wedged into a snowbank on some county road, freezing our asses off with spotty cell service. Nope, this just doesn’t look promising.

My husband and I decide to cancel. The adventure will have to wait until the November full moon.

After the initial disappointment crumbles away, the warm gooey center of relief bubbles to the surface. We’re…not…going to North Dakota for six days.

I am free to do All The Other Things.

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For over a decade, I’ve sliced my creative life into three distinct pie segments.

First, I work full-time as a graphic designer for a tiny-but-mighty group of badass ladies called Streamline Jacks. I’m the Creative Lead and hop from marketing concepts to digital asset production to logos to copywriting. Oh and PowerPoint. So… much… PowerPoint.

Second, I quite literally moonlight as a night photographer and light painter with my husband, Chris. We call ourselves The Flash Nites. By the light of the full moon, we venture to abandoned places all over the U.S.—farmhouses, old cars and trucks, theaters, schools, UFO-shaped homes—and illuminate them with color flashes while taking a long exposure photograph so the structures glow inside. (And this is why we might find ourselves wedged in a snowbank in a remote corner of North Dakota at one in the morning.) By the light of day, from May to September, we also set up our own little white tent in cities and towns across the Midwest to sell our work in art festivals.

Finally—after the other household, social, and civic duties tap me out—I fill up any remaining crevices with my own artistic endeavors. See, it’s not enough that I’m creative, or even successful in my day job or my night gig. That production is shared with others—my husband, coworkers and clients.

I crave something that’s all mine and mine alone.

I’ve dabbled in a slew of solo side projects over the years. Like a typical Creative, I need a project goal to have meaning and purpose. And I won’t stop climbing to the top of that mountain until it’s perfect. Well, nothing is ever perfect, so sadly, like a typical Creative, I’ve also spent more than my fair share of time putting myself down for my mistakes, failures, DNFs, blocks, dead-ends, and lack of audience engagement. That last one is particularly brutal. If a creative idea drops into the woods and no one knows about it, is it worth anything? 

In this democratized age of the internet, the good news is that everyone can publish their creations. The bad news is that everyone can publish their creations. With an audience of 5.3 billion internet users, we’re bound to be a raging success, right? … right? Unfortunately, we often release our precious work to this throng of humanity and it can feel like shouting into the void. And even if we have our core group of superfans, we will always and forever expect more. We wait for our audience of heroes to swoop in and save us with their clicks, comments, and paid subscriptions. But no amount of eyeballs and hearts and dollars will quench our endless thirst for more. Our creativity suffocates under the pressure, the black hole of self-defeat chomps and chomps, and we’re left with nothing. 

I’m so over it. I’m ready to break the vicious cycle.

For the past year and a half, I’ve been developing a Novella-meets-Comic-meets-Tarot hybrid called Bonesick — a multi-layered, easter-egg filled, pop culture feast for the senses. It’s about a sad man, who was once a sad boy, stumbling along the rockier path he thinks is his punishment for past transgressions. He ends up undergoing a “Skin Free” procedure (which is exactly what it sounds like) in an attempt to shed his past and start over.

So far, this project has proved to be quite the undertaking. I have no idea if something this niche could ever find a real audience. But this time, I refuse to let the hungry black hole gobble up my momentum. How is it different this time? What’s changed?

Spoiler: it’s not you, it’s me.

This past week, I finished up a mini side project to my side project: Bonesick x Inktober. For the uninitiated, Inktober is drawing every day through the month of October. Between planning and drawing, the project took me around 150 hours—one third of the free time I didn’t spend day-jobbing or sleeping—unpaid of course. In this digital hyper-hustle culture that demands we get paid for our published creative or intellectual labor, maybe this number sounds outrageous. Why would I spend all my freetime doing something for nothing? The “Old Me” would’ve looked at this number with disgust.

This time, however, I shifted my proof of self-worth. Instead of turning outward toward superfan saviors for that sweet, sweet dope hit of validation, I asked myself: can I turn inward to marvel at my progress and the sheer wonder that I can do something like this at all? Can I be my own hero?

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So I relished in the quality time I got to spend doing the thing. To just sit on the couch, lost in my imagination, and draw for hours? A person could be so lucky! It can be an absolute thrill to feel inspired by the magic you pull out of thin air and put out onto a blank page, brick wall, garden bed, shop table, bike trail, dance floor, center stage, basketball court, whatever your platform of choice. It can feel like falling in love.

And that’s how I saved me from myself. It’s the only way my neuro-atypical synapses can handle creative output without misfiring me into that depressing abyss of failure. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a red-blooded Capitalist American Capricorn—success and superfans are the capital G Goal when you choose capital C Creativity to fund your living expenses (support your local artists!!). But if you’re like me and have a dysfunctional relationship with that process, you have to fall in love with the climb, not the mountain. The gift is the process, the results are often just dumb luck!

Thanksgiving weekend, my husband and I will head up to the Dakotas. It’s going to be incredibly cold, dark, and desolate. We’ll spend upwards of 50 hours creating new work that may or may not be a success next art festival season. But we get to spend our nights under the moon and stars to make magic. What a friggin’ honor.

So it’s your turn! Do you have an old project that imploded like a dying star? Is there a task, hobby, or vocation you’d love to dabble in just for fun? What would you consider dedicating 150 hours to even if—especially if—success wasn’t guaranteed? Drop me a comment!

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Megan and I met what seems like lifetimes ago. That’s probably because we’ve gone through so many phases of life together. From her still being in high school to us graduating college, to me getting married and having a kid. She and I have been friends through it all.

To continue our focus on Denelle’s quote Jeff delved into this week, I want to keep focus on the “more”.

Megan just entered her thirties and has just found her footing professionally, but it hasn’t been a walk in the park. All she could see was the “more” life had to offer. It comes in its own time, and we cant force it to be ready for us, until we’re really, truly ready for it.

This week we encourage you to be more like those that seek out and find the “more”.

Name

Megan E

Occupation

Representative with Empire Distributors

Habitat

Savannah, GA

Soundtrack

When I graduated college with my degree in Early Childhood Education, I walked out of that gymnasium with every confidence in the world that I just secured a degree for my lifelong career choice.

I graduated wanting to make a difference in the lives of the kids that struggled in certain areas, much like I had done in my schooling. I was excited to implement learning strategies that helped me and try new things. You know the lightbulb moment we all have when we finally understand something? I strived for seeing that epiphany on the kids’ faces.

The two and a half years I utilized this degree were a rollercoaster. Except that rollercoaster was more like a straight shot downward. I started high and ended low.

The best moment in teaching was seeing the success of a young student finally understanding their letters enough to log in to their online profile without assistance. It’s such a small accomplishment but for him and I, it was huge. The good moments were short lived when I spent more time being frustrated with my environment than I enjoyed teaching. I found more joy and relaxation in my second job. A simple cashier position at a liquor store right around the corner from my house.

Between contract negotiations for less pay, the volunteer hours, and the money I was hemorrhaging to make my classroom and teaching the most effective, I decided that this, in fact, was not the place for me anymore. I made the decision to move on and along came COVID immediately after. Maybe it was a sign, maybe it was the universe giving me grace to slow down. Who knows?

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I just wanted more. There had to be more. Something more enlightening, challenging, fun, more…for me.

I’ve always had a knack for numbers. I was taking real estate classes and took a job as a mortgage loan officer assistant to learn the math side of real estate while focusing on getting my real estate license. I did this while still maintaining my position at the liquor store.

My time with the mortgage lender was short lived, but it opened my eyes to more promising things on the horizon.

The owner of the liquor store I’d maintained employment with for nearly 6 years pulled me aside and told me I needed to find a career and something that I loved doing. He said as much as I loved being around people that I needed to look into something in sales. He of course, had all sorts of connections and it wasn’t long until I was in touch with the hiring manager for United Distributors.

United distributes wine, beer, and spirits to just about any place that sells those items in our area.

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To avoid conflict of interests, I had to leave my position at the liquor store. This was sad but, two months in I was feeling good, I even had my own route. To put the cherry on top, I was making more money than I was teaching. I had finally found something that I enjoyed doing and there was never a day I woke up and decided I didn’t feel like going to work.

About eight months in to my career with United, I felt the need for more of a challenge. My route and my sales were only focused on wine but I had the need to learn more. Shortly after thinking this, I caught wind of an opening at a different company that would afford me the opportunity to have access to their complete portfolio. I’d have access to learning about beers, wines, liquors, and non-alcoholic beverages.

I jumped at the opportunity and didnt look back. The doors had been opened, showing me the “more” that there was in the industry I was already in, and already loved.

I am now currently working a lot closer to home and I get to provide product for the store that I spent so many of my nights and weekends in. I have goals, both personal and professional. I get to the see the numbers side of the industry, which feeds my soul.

I don’t see myself going anywhere else. I am still learning new things which keeps things fresh for myself providing new things to focus on and excel at.

Sometimes the things we set out to do turn out to be not what we thought they would be. But there are also times where the things we don’t even consider at first glance turn out to be far better than expected.

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Almost 4 years ago, my husband Matt began this wild journey into playing paintball on a team. The team travels for tournaments and practices every Sunday. They’re essentially an extension of our family.

Per the recommendation of April, who joined us for FIELD GUIDE a few moons ago (and is someone I met through paintball as well), I have learned that Kenny is quite the writer.

On top of being a great dad and husband, a friend that will always show up for you, a teammate who is always cheering you on, and someone who you’re never safe eating a banana around, he came to me with a FIELD GUIDE that really drives home the meaning behind what this bi-weekly segment is all about.

We’re real people, doing real jobs, living real lives, doing the best we can. We strive to do better, make better, and be better just like everyone else.

What can we do better this week?

-Skyler

Name

Ken H

Occupation

Business owner

Habitat

Richmond Hill, GA

Soundtrack

Hello, I was asked awhile back by one of my friends to write something for her.

I hesitated for months due to the fact I’ve always been a bit self-conscious when it comes to allowing others to enter that realm I like to keep hidden. You see, I’ve never been good at punctuation, spelling or even English for that matter, and when I do allow others to read something I’ve written it causes a deep nauseous feeling within me.

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Perhaps its fear of ridicule or even a fear of some kind of rejection of my opinion on topics or my take on subjects. I’m really not sure, it’s one of those things that’s hard for me to explain. As I’ve grown older and (hopefully) wiser, I’ve learned that this anxiety is not an uncommon issue and I share this with many others.

I like to tell myself courage is not the absence of fear, but instead courage is having the ability to push through and meet a goal despite being scared shitless. So maybe its time to apply this thought when it comes to the above statements. Although, I’m slightly trembling and cringe at the thought of others getting to read this, I’m going to finally give it a shot.

The fact that she is a friend to me and asked me this favor coupled with the coasting and encouragement from my wife and adopted sister doesn’t hurt either.

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When approached with this…. I’ll call it an opportunity 😉 one of my hesitations was what on earth to write about. I mean I’m a 46-year-old father of two in my opinion average guy. I’ve never done anything I’ve felt was a worthy enough story to capture any audience’s attention. Never rushed into a burning building to save a litter of kittens, never jumped on a live grenade, never had to save my heard of cattle from some restless dangerous villains.

I’m not someone who considers themselves an expert on any one subject either. I was drawing a blank. Couple that with my anxiety issue (of which I never told her) and I thought I got to get out of this.

So, as I was trying to pathetically worm my way out of this assignment by explaining to her that I had nothing to write about and I wasn’t going to do it, she asked me, “What are you passionate about?”.

WOW! That’s a powerful question. It had been a long time since I listened when someone else had asked me that, and sadly an even longer time since I truly asked myself that. It didn’t take long before I realized what I was passionate about, but how could I put this into words and on paper. Here’s my attempt;

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I cannot lie on this forum and say that I’ve always been proud of myself or some of the decisions I made. I was a reckless child, teenager and young adult.

I’ve made decisions that I will never be proud of. Mistakes that can never be taken back, hurt those I loved and burned bridges beyond repair. Keeping these thoughts, memories and guilt is my penance, I will not allow myself to forget or forgive myself for these. It’s also what leads me to what I’m passionate about and that’s the pursuit of being a better person each day than I was the day before.

I will not allow myself to think any other way about the sun rise and its daily gift to me, which is its opportunity to be a better father, husband, friend, mentor, student, communicator or simply in my lack of a wider vocabulary a better human than yesterday. Ernest Hemingway wrote, “‘There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.”

I believe I was in my mid to late 20’s when I read that, hell it may have been in my early 30’s. It struck a nerve with me, and I have used it to help me accept who I was, to be a person who is happier with who they are now and a person with a simple goal of being better tomorrow. I also will not lie to you and say I don’t have setbacks. I think we all do.

But for me, and what that sun rise represents to me nowadays, a setback is just a small ant mound easily passable.

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Way back when I had winter hair and beard, Marcus and I recorded a thoroughly pleasant and enlightening conversation about hope and the music industry and hope and (not) believing in God and hope. And then I didn’t edit it. Marcus got done with waiting and edited it himself. I think you will thoroughly enjoy listening to me stumble around and overshare in the attempt formulate questions while Marcus talks eloquently about success and failure and finding worth when the thing you do gets taken away. Hit the ‘Listen now’ button below or click through the link to watch us on YouTube.

Be sure to check out Marcus’ latest single What I Want. It’s perfect for vibing your way into the weekend.

-Jeff

Name

Marcus Royce

Occupation

Singer, writer, voice-actor

Habitat

Artsy historic loft in downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota

Soundtrack

Crazy Hope

Unraveling My Creative Life & Faith - A Conversation with Jeff Gill

Listen now (32 mins) | Super happy to be bringing you a new two-parter! Can’t wait for you hear this one! Are you deconstructing your faith and wondering how you can still hold on to the good bits? Are you a creative person looking for success in an industry, and wondering how to keep your head on straight? Me too…

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3 years ago · 3 likes · Marcus Royce and Jeff Gill

The one and only corporate position I’ve held in my life came with some perks. Lots of catered dinners from yummy places and tons of networking opportunities, just to name a couple. With those networking opportunities, I met some amazing people.

Katie was one of those people that walked into my life, friendly and happy from the start. My cynicism obviously was like “theres no way this lady can be this nice…” I was wrong. She really is that nice and has become one of my best friends.

Katie and I have traversed the corporate world and motherhood together.

She has been successful in many endeavors and continues to take on new things without missing a step. If she thinks she can do it, she will.

This week, I encourage you to think about the opportunities that present themselves to you at face value. Sometimes these opportunities really are that good, and sometimes those people really are that friendly.

Open yourself up to the good.

-Skyler

Name

Katie Davis

Occupation

Business owner, mom, band manager…

Habitat

Richmond Hill, GA

Soundtrack

(Spotify)

I think I have always been doing this, even as an adolescent and teenager - I always say sales in marketing but without marketing there is no sales. The “people” part is the key. I am fascinated by people - what makes them tick. Why they react or respond the way they do. How they communicate. I was just told recently, “You are an expert networker”.

I think I am just naturally, genuinely GOOD AT learning about others. In order to successfully sell, market, and build a brand I have to understand all of those things. Prior to starting my own business I almost always had a sales role. My vision and dream is to continue to use my powers for good for even more small businesses (or large).

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Hi, I’m Katie. Im a wife to a hard working man that travels weekly AND fronts a band, a mom to a super cool little dude, a daughter, a business owner, I manage the aforementioned band my husband is the front man for, I’m on the RHBC Chamber Ambassador Council, I’m on the board for the SD Gunner Fund, and I’m Co-Founder for RHBRT. I am also treasurer for my son’s school’s PTSO, and secretary of the Richmond Hill Rotary club. The cherry on top? My family is also very active in our church.

My husband leads worship every Sunday. I encourage him to pursue his music career because thats his time to decompress and not think about his nine to five.

My plate is full. At all times. Maybe that makes me an idiot, I don’t know.

If I had empty time, I genuinely don’t think I would know what to do with myself. I enjoy people, I enjoy being social, I enjoy making connections big or small.

But there are days when I don’t want to keep going, where I just want to disconnect, unplug, and sit in silence. I try to take breaks, even if its a little longer than the schedule may allow, so I can take a step out of that negative space to remember WHY I am doing this is so I can build a successful business while providing for my family AND being present for my son when it is so very important. I’ve learned boundaries over the past three years and it’s incredible.

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I am an Eneagram 2w3 but surprisingly enough, I am an extroverted introvert. Meaning, I appear to thrive (and do thrive) in social settings. But I do also need my time to recharge. This is why I am able to serve my clients behind the scenes updating and providing content for their website or collateral, writing and distributing press releases. Am I comfortable in front of a camera? Sure. But I think I shine behind promoting what any brand, product or person really is.

Prior to starting my own marketing and branding business, I always held a sales role. Sales comes with the ups and downs that are expected. Some months are home runs, some months are strike outs, but we keep going. The connections I made along the way in my various sales roles helped me get to where I am today.

The scariest but biggest thing that happened was when I was offered the position of Director of Marketing for a company (who was a client at the time) when I had zero experience in that type of role. I had only been in sales, remember? But what’s funny is, I KILLED IT! With the skill set that they saw within me, the company went on to totally rebrand. The rebranding caused a domino effect leading it to double in size and ultimately sell.

I had no idea what I was doing, but they put their trust in me. I learned quickly and made things work for not only myself, but also for them.

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When the company sold in December 2019, I was maybe able to enjoy that downtime for 1.5 months. OF COURSE then the pandemic was upon us right after I began entertaining job offers - they of course then didn’t actually come to fruition. This was a blessing in disguise to stay home with my son while preschool was closed.

After freelancing and consulting, some months of bad business catapulted me to start my own business in April 2022. Scared as hell, I vowed to use my powers and my skill set for good. Do what I did with my previous company that sold for 203 million dollars. But instead do it for the smaller businesses and nonprofits.

These clients cant afford an in house director of marketing so…

Why not let it be me?

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