Does anyone worry about a writer picking up their pen and notebook?
Or an artist picking up a paintbrush?
Or a photographer picking up a camera?
Or student picking up a textbook?
Or a driver consulting a map?
Or a CEO picking up their PA?

No, except for the last one because that’s harassment.

If you accept the dominant narrative that your phone a social media machine and a time-thief, that’s how you’ll use it.

But if you think of your phone as a tool
for creativity
for education
for getting things done
that’s how you’ll set it up,
that’s how you’ll use it.

My phone is where I capture ideas (camera, Notes), scan my drawings (Genius Scan) and colour them (Procreate Pocket). I use it to record Voiceovers (Voice Memos) and video for work. I delivers podcasts (Overcast) and music (Qobuz) to my ears. It enables me to carry around largest library that has ever existed. It’s where I do much of my reading.

My phone is the most versatile, useful tool I’ve ever owned. That’s how I think about is. That’s how I (mostly) use it.

Let this be your new anthem. No matter where you’re at in life.

My phone currently introduced me to a solitaire game that I’m addicted to. My excuse is that it works my brain. But I have noticed it’s taking over a bit too much. That game will end up deleted soon.

Grow slowly
Skyler

I used to work in an office. I walked to work. I listened to podcasts while I walked. In the evening I ran, listening to nothing but the sounds of nature.

Now I work from home. There’s no time to fit in a podcast during my walk from the kitchen to my office, so I moved podcast listening to my evening run.

My family has had an extremely stressful year. I noticed a few weeks ago is that I was carrying the stress of our situation with me all the time. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was never getting a break from it.

And then I realised I was never taking a break – work and listening to music all day, dealing with life, educating my brain with podcasts during my runs, reading books before bed, a sprinkling of social media and TV. The only time my mind had to wander was when I was supposed to be asleep.

I went back to listening to nature while running.

It’s made a significant difference. I’m sleeping better. My mind doesn’t feel so full and uptight. It feels like my creativity levels are creeping up.

Do you give yourself some time every day with no outside inputs? Your brain needs empty space with freedom to move.

2026 update

My life is different than it was four years ago. I have plenty of space. The podcasts are back on during my runs which happen in the early morning now. Seasons, my dude.

I’m back! I will be here to carry you through the rest of The Book of Tree. And maybe beyond. Who knows?

Grow slowly
Skyler

I don’t know what six-and-a-half years of TREE has done for you. I hope it’s been useful. It’s certainly been good for me. I’ve (re)connected with wonderful people. I have a healthier, happier relationship with life. I haven’t doomscrolled in a long time because it doesn’t interest me anymore. I think the main reason is the daily discipline of thinking, writing and posting about a life worth living.

Now it’s about time to take down the scaffolding and enjoy what I’ve built. One of the things I’m enjoying very much is slooooowly writing, drawing and designing Bonanza Clementine is Dead. I’m thinking about how I might bring it to this email list in the future but I haven’t settled on anything definite yet.

For now, let’s enjoy the last few weeks of TREE. Skyler will be back handling the music and the posts on Monday.

The fact that they were manufactured on a TV show did not stop Girls Aloud from making a whole bunch of great pop music. Start here and listen to the whole album.

Grow slowly
Jeff

Here’s a digital clear-out checklist:

• Search ‘unsubscribe’ in your email app, then unsubscribe from every newsletter you’re not excited to read

• Delete the apps that you aren’t using or that are wasting your time

• Unfollow any social accounts that aren’t helping you grow

• Turn off notifications that get in the way of living your real life

• Clear out your downloads folder

• Let Google or Apple help you tidy up your photos

• Empty your trash/bin

• Rearrange your home screen so it supports the way you want to use your phone

• Find some fresh wallpaper

Have I missed anything?

An hour or two tidying your phone and computer can create a surprising amount of clear space in your brain.

Of course you’ve heard Raye’s Where The Hell Is My Husband but have you listened to her whole new album yet? It does indeed contain hope.

This week I made use of CleanMyMac’s free seven-day trial and freed up 40 GB of space on my computer.

Grow slowly
Jeff

The way things are is always changing. What humanity knows is always changing. (Mostly our knowledge is growing, but we lose knowledge too.)

As soon as you finish high school, your general knowledge starts going out of date. As soon as you finish university, your subject knowledge starts going out of date. The obvious exceptions are the areas where you put effort into ongoing learning.

Your knowledge is incomplete and outdated. People in their late teens and early 20s know more than you do about a lot of stuff.

Spend time with young people.
Ask them questions.
Learn from them.

Jill Scott’s recent album To Whom It May Concern is superb.

Learning from the kids is especially fun if your daughter is a biologist, which mine is. (She’s also not really a kid anymore. She’s almost 23)

Grow slowly
Jeff

Let’s take that question seriously.

Most of us live sedentary lives in bodies that are evolved for long hard work. Our instincts to get all the energy we can haven’t caught up with our culture of sitting around and food on demand. Our brains tell us to eat more than we need.

About half of the stuff for sale at your supermarket is really really bad for you. Do ‘those people’ know this? Not if they aren’t actively searching for good information. The richest, most powerful food companies on earth make ultra-processed food-like substances full of nutritionless calories. These substances are designed to trigger all the crave and more switches in our brains. They use their vast marketing budgets to associate those worthless products in our minds with beautiful, happy, fulfilled lives.

If ‘those people’ didn’t grow up eating home-cooked meals with their families around a dinner table a few times a week, they are a lot less likely to have built-in resistance to the lies of the food marketers. Family dinners during childhood are one of best predictors of healthy eating as an adult.

Let’s say ‘those people’ wanted to buy healthful food. Can they? A lot of people, especially in low-income areas, only have easy access to convenience stores in which 90% of the stuff is trying to kill you. Imagine living in a place where you had to spend an hour on a bus to get to a decent supermarket. How would you get a week’s worth of groceries home for your family? Those areas are called ‘food deserts’.

What about time? What if ‘those people’ are working a couple jobs to make ends meet and so are their partners, if they have partners. We know that in the 21st century one income is rarely enough to raise a family. Where do they find the time or energy to cook healthy food?

On top of all that, let’s toss in TV and social media full of celebrity chefs and our culture’s fetishising of beautiful food. It constantly reinforces the idea that good cooking is for the rich and talented.

Finally, all that interconnected stuff is filtered through an individual’s mental and emotional relationship with food. There’s no guarantee it’s a healthy filter.

So, why don’t ‘those people’ take personal responsibility? You don’t know how hard they are trying, but you do know that almost every food-related thing they come in contact with – inside and out – is working against them. How do you beat that system without a shedload of help?

I learned most of this stuff while doing my culinary arts degree. If you want to learn more about food systems, watch Food Inc. To learn more about what to eat, read Food Rules. Do you need kitchen confidence? FFOREST friend Katerina Pavlakis will help you.

Public Enemy recently turned He Got Game into She Got Game and it’s excellent. Bonus: Blu DeTiger on bass.

Grow slowly
Jeff

My littlest sister used to play games where disasters killed parents and left the children as abandoned orphans. It was like A Series of Unfortunate Events but without the funny parts.

A boy in Christine’s Sunday school class once put so much blood and gore into his self-initiated crucifixion drawing that the felt-tip pens destroyed the paper.

I worked with children and young people for 25+ years. Generally, they find death troubling AND they want to talk about it. They don’t need everything to be nice. They want to understand the truth at a level their brains can handle.

Here are my tips for talking to little kids about death:

• Have pets. They’ll die before you want them to and break your heart. It’s good practice.

• Use true, understandable words like ‘die’ and ‘dead’. Kids are concrete thinkers. ‘Grandma passed on’ makes no sense. ‘Grandma fell asleep forever’ is terrifying.

• Don’t lie. Saying that Mr Pusskins is in heaven when Mr Pusskins is in the incinerator might make you feel better in the moment. But it does your child no good and undermines your long-term credibility.

• Show your emotions. Let your kids show their emotions. (They do it weirdly sometimes.)

• Be prepared to answer the same uncomfortable questions about death many times. Kids, like all humans, don’t get the picture all in one go.

• Kids don’t feel safe when you bullshit them about death. Kids feel safe when you envelop them in love as you help them process the truths they instinctively know about death.

A new Jessie Ware album is a good thing. Here’s one of the tracks that stood out to me on the first couple listens.

I forced Skyler to take a well-earned break this week. No exaggeration – I had to properly force her! So it’s just you and me for a few days. On Friday, I’ll give you an update on as much as I know about what will be happening when The Book of TREE finishes in June.

Grow slowly
Jeff

We’re reminded that where or what we made it through in the past is a part of us. It’s important to find a way to be comfortable with those things making us…us.

What did I learn?
Am I grateful that I learned it?
(You may not be grateful for how you learned it.
You can be grateful that you learned it.)
Now you’ve added growth and gratitude
to what previously was only regret.

Tuesday

You are tiny.

Wednesday

Don’t forget to let go of things that are not ours to carry. Just put it down.

Like…other people’s approval.

And yesterday

Often the truth is in plain sight and we don’t see it because we’d rather see something else.

Instead of seeing this or that, black or white…see more. See the full color spectrum, see the bigger picture, see the details.

The universe strikes again. Fresh off the press. 🤘🏻

Thanks for joining us again this week. Next week, I will be taking the week off from TREE but dont worry. Jeff is stepping in. I’d say he is filling in, but really it’s his spot.

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend.

Brie is turning 9 this Sunday so it’ll be a cake filled weekend for me! YAY 🎂

Be well, ffriends

See you soon!

Grow slowly
Skyler

‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.’ —Maya Angelou

Often the truth is in plain sight and we don’t see it because we’d rather see something else.

Often first impressions are wrong. People don’t necessarily show themselves immediately.

Often we are tempted to flatten people into monsters or saints instead of seeing who they are.

—Jeff

We, as humans, like to have a cut and dry, black and white way of seeing things. That is why we group people into “good” or “bad”. Sometimes there are things that are meant to by gray.

Grow slowly
Skyler

The only visual difference between us and the Mormon missionaries in Moscow was that we didn’t wear name badges.

We didn’t listen to music with a demonic rock beat – basically all modern music. The subtleties of genre were lost on Bill. Men were meant to be men and women were meant to be property. We were saving our first kisses until marriage. Anyone who didn’t live like us was on a certain road to debauchery, cancer, nighttime tooth-grinding and other consequences that Bill dreamed up. The leaders told us we were the vanguard of Christianity but they treated us like irresponsible idiots. Independent thinking was not allowed. Rule breakers were sent home under a deluge of shame. We were in Moscow living under the kind of rule Russia was trying to emerge from – without the privation and murder, obvs. I also made some great friends, Russian and American, and had a good deal of fun. Life is complicated like that.

When I went home after four months of it I was wrecked. I left the organisation. It took me two years to recover. For most of those two years and often afterwards, what I wanted was for Gothard and his people to see that they were wrong. That I could live a life of health and goodness without his rules.

I never got to show them. They wouldn’t have cared if I had showed them.

To get Bill out of my head after I got out of his cult, I had to let go of the wish to show him I was good. It wasn’t a once-for-all thing. I had to do it over and over and over again. Eventually, I was free.

Letting go is work. But I would hate to still be trapped in Bill’s cult 32 years after I left it.

If you can’t have it, let go of it quickly and often.

—Jeff

Letting go takes effort, and work, and time. Slipping back into holding onto things that are not meant to be held onto can take a toll on you mentally, and even physically.

If it’s not yours to carry, let it go.

Grow slowly
Skyler

You are tiny.

There are many things that happen to you of which you are not the cause and over which you have no control.

You have a storytelling, meaning-seeking brain. It will do its best to connect your agency to these events.

This is why young children often blame themselves when their parents divorce. Their parents tell them the truth, but their young brains still try to create a story where they played an active part, even if that part is destructive.

This human tendency doesn’t go away just because you grow up. As an adult, you do at least have the ability to see reality and tell yourself a truer story about the influence you do – or, more often, don’t – have on the universe.

—Jeff

I always look at it as though the universe has that effect on me. Like the way it laughs at me when I’m a morning person and the rest of my house is a “dont-talk-to-me-before-I-have-been-awake-for-6-hours” kind of house.

Grow slowly
Skyler

Florence and her machine sang:

I can never leave the past behind…
I’m always dragging that horse around…
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground

I don’t think dragging the past around or
burying it and leaving it behind
are the only available options.

You can integrate the horse.

Your regrets,
the things that were done to you,
the things you no longer believe
can become part of your personal wholeness.

How do you integrate the horse?

I know it takes time and work.

I know part of the work is to ask:
What did I learn?
Am I grateful that I learned it?
(You may not be grateful for how you learned it.
You can be grateful that you learned it.)
Now you’ve added growth and gratitude
to what previously was only regret.

Sometimes the growth is no more than
‘I’m not making that mistake again!’
Sometimes, as is the case with my former religion,
the growth is looking back with gratitude
at a set of values, a moral compass,
incredible opportunities to travel,
perform, play music, become a leader.

The regret, the pain,
the joy, the opportunities –
You can’t untangle them.
You can integrate them.

—Jeff

It’s a part of us. Our past, our mistakes, our hurt. But it is part of the building blocks that we’ve built ourselves upon. Integrate gracefully.

Grow slowly
Skyler

“When you want to change someone’s mind, move them in a direction, sell them something, you will have more success by sparking their imagination than by igniting their judgement.”

Tuesday

Don’t forget to pay attention to the kids…

Wednesday

“Institutions are formed around ideas, technologies, products, processes, strong leaders. All those things have a lifespan that is shorter than the lifespan of an institution.“

And yesterday

“The scaffolding is not the building.“ Don’t forget to build from within.

The best part about this little segment? Somehow, by the grace of the universe, we’ve ended up on the right side of new music releases.

Crimson Glory brings me nostalgic vibes, like something my dad used to blast when I was younger. But also tickles the itch in my brain for good guitar riffs and good drum work.

Their newest album Chasing the Hydra is out today. Enjoy :D

We made it, ffriends.

Let us utilize this weekend to reflect on what we’ve built and from where we built it. Let us engage in meaningful conversation that makes us think, that makes us be slow to respond, that makes us consider carefully what comes next.

Be mindful, be open, be well.

See you Monday!

Grow slowly
Skyler

For you, scaffolding is life. For everyone else, it’s the essential but temporary structure that enables them to get their building built or repaired. The scaffolding is not the building.

There are lots of people who work in scaffolding. I was one of them when I was a pastor. Philosophers are scaffolders, so are therapists and gurus. (Not all scaffolding is fit for purpose. Some works for one type of building but not for others.) For some people who work in scaffolding, scaffolding is life. They may try to sell you on that idea. If you want become a scaffolder, great. It’s important work. If not, remember that you are building a life, not the scaffolding around your life.

I think one of the reasons I didn’t go attach myself to another -ism when I left Christianity is that my parents and my church provided good scaffolding. When I was done with the scaffolding, I found I had built a fairly robust life. I didn’t need to wrap another structure around it.

Obviously this analogy has its limits – I’m still learning, growing and building – but I think it’s a useful picture to work with.

—Jeff

Learn to fly the nest without the scaffolding. Don’t use it as a crutch. Stand on your own…or collapse. Sometimes it’s best to start over.

Grow slowly
Skyler

A tree can maintain the form of a tree long after it has died. Wood is hard and strong.

A tree that has fallen over with its roots ripped out of the ground can sustain leaves, flowers and fruit for a while.

Institutions (Religious organisations, political parties, businesses, schools, teams, charities, governments, civil services, militaries, governing bodies, etc.) are like trees.

Institutions are formed around ideas, technologies, products, processes, strong leaders. All those things have a lifespan that is shorter than the lifespan of an institution.

An institution that does not have the ability to renew itself with new ideas, technologies, leaders, etc. will die like a tree. What I mean is that it will keep on looking like a living institution for quite a while even though its destiny is to be lunch for wood lice.

For any institution that you are part of, it’s good to know

• where it is in its lifespan and

• whether or not it can renew itself.

If it can’t, get out well before everyone has noticed that it’s dead. By the time people have noticed, it’s way too late.

—Jeff

Sometimes getting involved is not enough to save something, even if you think it can be saved. Putting energy in somewhere that will not be revived or sustained, will in turn, drain the life out of you as well.

Grow slowly
Skyler

The tricky thing is knowing when you (or the company your work for) are committed to building a better typewriter when the world is about to start choosing computers.

Here are a few ideas:

• Pay attention to what early adopters in your sector are doing

• Pay attention to what the kids are doing in general

• Approach new ideas like Paul Graham does

• When it’s necessary, be absolutely ready to walk away from your sunk costs and do something new.

—Jeff

“Pay attention to what the kids are doing in general,” couldn’t be any more true. I will never be as cool and hip as I once was, but I will enjoy trying.

Grow slowly
Skyler

How do you do it? I don’t know
all the things, but I’ve learned
two things:

1. Pursue results rather than ego inflation.
   If you need to get the credit or be seen to be right, you’ll strengthen resistance to the change you want to bring (e.g. most of social media). People are more open to ideas when they have meaningful participation. That means the idea will change in some ways. That means you won’t get all the credit.

2. Conversations beat presentations.
   I know this works in design. I’m guessing it does in other areas. When you want someone to buy your idea/design/project and you present a shiny finished package, you are inviting people to look for flaws. When you show them sketches and rough drafts, you invite them into the process. You create excitement about possibilities. You spark their imagination.

—Jeff

Monday is back my friends, and here we are! Let’s take this week and make the time to inspire someone, strike up conversations that are engaging and eye-opening.

We’ve got that kind of power. Let’s find ways to use it.

Grow slowly
Skyler

You rarely get any credit and never get any money for doing that extra bit at the end. Most of the time no one even notices. I think it’s worth it though. Go the extra mile, make one more pass.

Tuesday

Shipping work that is not quite perfect on time is better than shipping too late or not shipping anything.

And as we learned this week, better shipping a day early than a day late.

Ship it.

Wednesday

Stop buying the weird other people are selling and do your own. Come up with your own criteria for what success looks like. They won’t be as extreme as the growth guys’ measures, but that’s okay. Their growth measures won’t meet your growth needs.

And yesterday

Live in the season you are in now.
The stability is in the flow.

The first rip of the guitar on this one had me hooked. Feel free to deep dive into Witch Ripper’s newest album, Through The Hourglass, dropping today!

First full week in the office in the books. This week, I got my first rehearsal dinner on the schedule, had countless meetings, and even lead one all by myself. I’m honestly surprised my brain isn’t melting out of my ears at this point.

Relax, recharge, return to us on Monday.

Grow slowly
Skyler

Birth
Growth
Ageing
Death
Rebirth…

The movement is constant and you cannot reverse the direction of travel.
Let Aquarius get old and die.
Live in the season you are in now.
The stability is in the flow.

—Jeff

Living in the season we are in now is such a key take away from this. We can’t change the past. Focus on the now. The future will be.

Grow slowly
Skyler

I think I’ve figured out why.

THESE PEOPLE ARE FREAKS.

They are not normal. They are at the ends of all the spectrums. They leap out of bed before five AM and drink a gallon something green and powerful while immersed in ice and doing journalling with key members of their power team. During their six AM workout they start six companies and smilingly say no to 16 others as their radiant teeth reflect dancing light around their office-gym-dojo-temple-kitchen which overlooks a waterfall that has been tuned to the perfect harmonics for stimulating creativity. They studiously avoid all social media while simultaneously creating 75 pieces of social media content daily— I’m actually getting annoyed now.

They live their freakish lives and then turn to you and say, If you want to be successful, you must… and then list the freaky things that they do.

Is that how you want to live?

I don’t.

I don’t want to be Tim Ferriss or Ryan Holiday or Benjamin Hardy or Jocko Willink or Shane Parrish or whoever’s popular now. (I’m realising as I edit this in April 2026 that I’ve moved on and this post should probably be titled ‘I used to consume personal growth media but you still don’t have to.)

But I do have a hypothesis about what may be the ultimate lesson to learn from these folks. Because they are intense, end-of-the-spectrum type people, they don’t have any option but to let their freak flags fly. They don’t own a normal setting.

You and I are closer to the middle of these various spectrums. We find it easier to shut down our weirdness and go with the general flow of culture. I think the big lesson here is: Let’s not.

If your own personal, not-quite-so-extreme weirdness is saying radically change your diet for the better, do it. So what if you look weird at restaurants? Quit social media. Take up shortwave radio or printmaking or curling. Throw away your television. Watch only French films from the 1970s. It’s fine. It’s better than fine. Your weird is how you will grow. It’s how you will find your success.

Stop buying the weird other people are selling and do your own. Come up with your own criteria for what success looks like. They won’t be as extreme as the growth guys’ measures, but that’s okay. Their growth measures won’t meet your growth needs.

—Jeff

I’d love take up curling 🥌. It is my favorite nap time sport during the Winter Olympics.

I have a lot of weird-ities. I love them.

I love yours too.

Grow slowly
Skyler